Single sisters....LISTEN UP

Men like a woman with confidence that can still evoke a sense of vulnerability, femininity. **Yes ladies...I said...a little vulnerability** In this day and age, we need to remember that although we can bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan.....WE ARE STILL WOMEN. It's the greatest power that we have. It's what draws men to us. Don't be so tough that you give off attitude.

I know a beautiful sister. She is gorgeous, intelligent, great at her job, flawless in appearance, loves to have fun, owns her own house and car, pays her own bills.....in short, the REAL DEAL. Yet, she has no real dating prospects and hasn't for a while now.

I have been friends with her for a few years . I have laid back in the cut and observed her (as is the Cancerian thing to do) and I know what the problem is. Girlfriend is carrying her baggage like a shield of armor. I am sure she has been hurt by someone. Haven't we all? However, on the few occassions that I have introduced her to a BWP (Brother with potential), she gets an instant scowl on her face, twists the lip up and gives off the cold shoulder.

I say, "BWP, this is my Fine Sister Friend". She gives the eye roll, and a curt "Hi" like the man just stole her puppy.

BEYOTCH....aren't you always complaining that you don't have anyone? C'mon now girl, say hello. You don't have to see dude and have sparks flying out of your ass. Just say hi. A man can always be a friend, a date, a networking possibility, lead you to another man, or maybe not be anything at all....but common courtesy goes a long way. That tough girl sh*t will keep your behind at home many a night. If you are okay staying home....good for you. But if you aren't and you can't figure out what's wrong....this may be for you.

• Smile.
• Be approachable.
• Conversation is just conversation.
• You can talk and get to know someone and still walk away.
• Women control the power in flirting.
• A man will only get the digits if YOU give them to him.
• You are never obligated, so why be rude and bitchy?
• Even if the negro looks like Shabba Ranks and is pushing up on you...a quick and polite "Sorry, I'm here with someone or Not interested" goes way further than the "F*&% You. WHAT DO YOU WANT?" that may have you ending up with a gin and tonic on your new stilletos.
• People have feelings even assholes.
• Embrace your femininity. Lose the tough girl act when you meet a man you are interested in. Allow yourself to flirt and be playful. Don't act like YOU GOT EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL. If that's the case, the brother will feel like you probably don't need a man or worse, he will see you as a challenge and want to get right in those drawers just to break you.

Now before all of you ladies start attacking me. I'm not saying to just put all your cards on the table and jump in with both feet for every Tyrone and FuQuan out there. Many of us have to have that tough side so we don't get crushed all the time. We have developed it from dating these playas. But when you have the potential to get to know someone better, do it. Allow a little of the feminine side out sometimes. Remember, Women in a man's world can still be women.

Peace!