How many of us have them?

Last night, I came home from work and found out that Mr. 1969 got laid off from his job. This is not what you need to hear when you have a mortgage, two children and various other bills. I knew that he was feeling depressed so I fed the kids and then left to go grocery shopping.

When I got in the car, I called a good friend of mine. The two of us met when I moved to Philadelphia. It turns out, God brings people together for a reason. We have kept each other going for the last 7 years. We are a refuge for each other and can call at the drop of a dime and have instant dialogue about anything.

I called her and we started talking. The discussion started about my hubby and then it touched on our lives as women, mothers, sisters and daughters. The expectations we set for ourselves, the failures of our fathers in our lives and what role that played in the choices we have made. We talked about losing ourselves to all of the roles we balance and fighting tooth and nail to hang on to a small piece of who we used to be before responsibility took over. How we get so caught up in doing for everyone else that sometimes we just want someone to ask how we are doing.

We talked about our careers and how we have to exist as Black women in the workplace. How hard we have to work to be professional, intelligent and non-threatening so we don't get labeled "the angry black woman".

We talked about feeling overwhelmed, tired, angry and scared. We talked about life and how we can improve ours, our families and teach our children to learn from our mistakes. We ended it by telling each other that we had the other person's back. We loved each other and we would help the other person get through the crisis no matter what.

It's not always easy to be a real friend to someone. A real friend listens first and asks questions afterwards. I feel so blessed. I hope you all have someone you can call when you need some clarity and refocusing. I know I do.