Reflections
So as I stood in my bathroom this morning sewing my son's Halloween mask back together after he broke the strap...it hit me, once again, that I am someone's mom. I had one of those "A-HA" moments that Oprah is always talking about.
I am somebody's mom. Crazy right?
Me. The girl who likes to go out in her hot outfit, have some cocktails, travel the world and dance until the sun comes up. Pick out the hottest guy in the room and buy him a drink just because. Write poetry and short stories and then rip them all up. Take the business world by storm and one day be mega, filthy rich. Dance on the beach in my bikini singing songs at the top of my lungs. Me. 1969. The fun loving, free spirited, carefree girl is someone's mama.
Sometimes, when I am hugging a four year old at 2am while they throw up, or making hot chocolate with marshmallows and whipped cream, or playing power ran.gers vs. spi.derman....it hits me that I am really the MOM.
I know, I know....who would have thunk it? Most people that know me say they always knew I had it in me. Well I sure as heck didn't. I could barely balance a checkbook let alone start a 529 plan for someone's future. How did I get here?
The journey has been amazing. I have grown up so much in the last four years. Marriage will teach you some things but you can still be selfish. You can still sleep in late, choose to not cook dinner, lay around all day in your jammies, buy a new pair of shoes just for the hell of it....you know...do the things you want to do.
Kids force you to grow the hell up.....and fast. You no longer are responsible for just yourself, you are now forced into being....a MOM.
So as I woke up and grabbed the cupcakes for Taliban 1's party at school, while I adjusted the mask I had just sewn back together, grabbed the pizza money for Taliban 2's party at school, adjusted his cape for the 15th time, held the car keys betwen my teeth, walked them to the car, strapped them into the carseats and still made it to work by 7:30am.....I really had to stop and give myself a pat on the back.
I think I finally found something that I am good at.
I am somebody's mom. Crazy right?
Me. The girl who likes to go out in her hot outfit, have some cocktails, travel the world and dance until the sun comes up. Pick out the hottest guy in the room and buy him a drink just because. Write poetry and short stories and then rip them all up. Take the business world by storm and one day be mega, filthy rich. Dance on the beach in my bikini singing songs at the top of my lungs. Me. 1969. The fun loving, free spirited, carefree girl is someone's mama.
Sometimes, when I am hugging a four year old at 2am while they throw up, or making hot chocolate with marshmallows and whipped cream, or playing power ran.gers vs. spi.derman....it hits me that I am really the MOM.
I know, I know....who would have thunk it? Most people that know me say they always knew I had it in me. Well I sure as heck didn't. I could barely balance a checkbook let alone start a 529 plan for someone's future. How did I get here?
The journey has been amazing. I have grown up so much in the last four years. Marriage will teach you some things but you can still be selfish. You can still sleep in late, choose to not cook dinner, lay around all day in your jammies, buy a new pair of shoes just for the hell of it....you know...do the things you want to do.
Kids force you to grow the hell up.....and fast. You no longer are responsible for just yourself, you are now forced into being....a MOM.
So as I woke up and grabbed the cupcakes for Taliban 1's party at school, while I adjusted the mask I had just sewn back together, grabbed the pizza money for Taliban 2's party at school, adjusted his cape for the 15th time, held the car keys betwen my teeth, walked them to the car, strapped them into the carseats and still made it to work by 7:30am.....I really had to stop and give myself a pat on the back.
I think I finally found something that I am good at.
posted by 1969 at
5:52 AM
22 Comments:
Kudos to you! We never know what we are good at until we have to do it.
I believe I am just one year older than you and I am a grandmother. Now, believe me NEVER, EVER did I expect to be saying that this early in my life. I fought it tooth and nail. Stomped and kicked my feet like a kid having a tantrum. I, too like to wear my sexy outfits and be flirty, etc. Can a grandmother still do that?
Of course I can! After all, I am not a grandmother because I am older I am a grandmother because my son wanted to be a grandmother at a very young age.
So we become great moms and grandmoms and can still be great at being who we are, too.
I think your awesome at it and I ain't even met your kids. Just all the stories and things you have planned.
I felt that way before....however I was 23 at the time. I had my babies young. Married at 21 and 2 boys by 24. Now I am an old broad and them lil dudes have grown up to be great young men. Yours will too.
Correction - my so wanted to be a father at a young age :-)
Kudos to you! We never know what we are good at until we have to do it.
I beleive I am just one year older than you and I am a grandmother. Now, believe me NEVER, EVER did I expect to be saying that this early in my life. I fought it tooth and nail. Stomped and kicked my feet like a kid having a tantrum. I, too like to wear my sexy outfits and be flirty, etc. Can a grandmother still do that?
Of course I can! After all, I am not a grandmother because I am older I am a grandmother because my son wanted to be a grandmother at a very young age.
So we become great moms and grandmoms and can still be great at being who we are, too.
Drea...it amazes me sometimes...like "How did I get here?" Absolutely crazy. I never pictured myself being this capable or responsible. It's wild.
And girl, you have to be the hottest Grandmother ever!
Blah...it's so surreal at times. Like I was sewing this morning and laughing because my mom used to sew really well. She would fix buttons, hem my pants, etc. I can't sew to save my life. So when I was sewing his mask, it was like flashing back to my mom. It's amazing how life comes full circle sometimes.
Wow. that is cool. And I too have had those "DAYMMIT! I am REALLY somebody's MOMMA" moments too! (my friends have those moments MORE than I do when it comes to me being somebosy's mother......uh Zed......namely YOU! LOL) I STILL feel about 25 years old inside (though I am nearing 40 quicker than not) and I have "real responsibilities". I have a little person that depends on ME for what he needs, to comfort him and for his essential survival! It is a HEAVY thing to be a momma and to be a GOOD momma at that. Good, not meaning "perfect" because NO momma is "perfect". I am SURE you (and I) can think of things about our momma's that we didn't particularly care for, but all in all they were OUR mommies.
I hope EVERY.DAY that I can be a better mother than I was yesterday. I want my son to FEEEEEL loved and to FEEEEEEL like he is THEE most special being on this earth because to me, he is. Bar none.
I have always been the go out, hang out, always has a story to tell about someone I went out with girl, I was the flirty (still am really), sassy, cute girl who LOVED being an adult and and doing all the things that "adults" could do. And "look what I done stuck my foot in" as Ice Cube would say......motherhood. I have my moments when I get a little sad because I can't just "get up and go" because we (me & my husband ) have NO SUPPORT (i.e. there are NO GRANDPARENTS,etc. to take the load off) and going out can't be spontaneous. But those feelings are very seldom.
WOW..... somebody's MOMMA. I remember being a kid (7 or 8) and looking at peoples mother's and thinking " such-and-such's momma is GROWWWWWN and OLLLLD"!!!!! LOL And the funny thing IS, that by the time my child is 7 or 8 I will be OLDER than 1/2 of those people I was talking about back then as being "ollllld"!! LOL
I love this post on being a mommy and I am so glad you shared this with us :-)
sorry to blog all up in your comments girlie....... :-)
Being a independent, wordly, well-travelled and a mother are not mutually exclusive. You prove that you can be both.
Robyn...you and I need to hang out!
You get it exactly. And we have no support system here either. My family is in NY and my husbands family is in upstate PA. We are each other's back up so we rarely get to do anything grown and sexy.
The sacrifices we have to make are really something. And when I look at their faces, it's worth it.
I have those moments too... a lot! I was the girl that hated kids... now I've got myself three of them! I have to admit that I have never felt love so unconditionally in my life! No matter what type of day you're having, they only make it better!
Thanks Miz JJ...Most times I feel like I am flying by the seat of my pants and winging it. On the outside, my friends think I juggle everything so well. They don't see me when I have my breakdowns.
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Wait until you call your house and you son answers the phone and you think it's your husband. Or When they walk pass you in November and you two are eye-to-eye. Then they walk pass you in December and they are two inches taller than you. You'll wonder how in the world you got to be this grown man's Mother???
It's been an adventure I wouldn't trade for all the tea in China.
I'm over here giving you a round of applause in New York fashion (Flava of Love)
You go girl!
I sooooooooo get it! Our families are in FL and GA!!! LOL And girl if I could make it to your neck of the woods we would definitely HAVE TO hang out! If and when I do you have to hang out with me! We would have a BALL!!! I am convinced :-) Then again..... our husbands might not see us for the remainder of the weekend! LOL
And I so agree that when I look at his face it is worth it..... ALL of it. LOL
I feel you 1969. I look at my 16 year old and cannot believe she is almost an adult. College, dating, driving, etc. pop in my head. Then I think about the hard times as a single mom, when I was in college, working and taking care of her. Thank God for support from my side of the family and her dad's side.
I do get sad when I see how he missed out being in the military and not watching her grow up.
Anyway, now I feel Good. I mean we can be together in public and folks don't believe she is my child. I don't look 36 so they look again and see we look alike. I can be cute and not look lik an old momma. Hey!
Out of all of my freinds, I was the only one that didn't want kids.
Now here I am. A Mom. I love it! I love seeing my daughter's face when I pick her up from preschool she yells MOMMY and runs full speed until we meet. I love that girl so much. Never in a million years did I think I could love someone like that. Granted being a single parent is not easy. However, I would not trade her for nothing in this world.
aahhh
so I don't have to actually grow up in order to have the kids
helps to know that
. . . and for being good at what you do, I applaud you.
Aww this was cute. It always makes me wonder how I would be when I am blessed with the opportunity to be someone's mom...cause right now I'm a tad bit crazy LOL..I can see my kids running around now and me hiding from them in my room haha..
AWWWH!! *huggs* That was such a great story. My mom raised 3 of us on her own and when you wrote about holding the keys with your teeth while trying to do a million things at once, I immediately flashed back to my mom doing the same thing.
First your good at everything you do. That's what makes you so special...that's what is going to make you filthy rich...that's what is going to make you the MOM that your kids are so grateful for as they grow into beautiful young men. Your good at everything...Not just being a Mommy!
This post was so inspiring...not necessarily inspiring enough to make me wanna be someones MOM (LOL) but inspiring enough to make me feel like I could be a good Mom is that is what God decided he wanted me to be. Everytime I read your stuff I feel like I know you more and more...and I am loving every minute of it.
Wow. i am so inspired by this. I often question whether i could be someone's wife, mama, etc., as an unmarried 29er..it still seems so foriegn to me to be settled, almost like its impossible...
but truth is just because you can't see something in yourself doesn't mean its not there....
lovely.
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