Friday, July 27, 2007

The Legacy

My mom is coming up to visit this weekend and I can't wait to see her.

My mom and I have been through a lot together. We have our ups and downs. She veers towards being harsh and extremely matter of fact. She's not always good at handling her children's emotions or saying something with tact.

I am sensitive but hide it under a tough exterior. My mother wears her sensitivity on her sleeve. You make the wrong comment and she will get hurt. However, she will turn around and feel that she can say anything to me and I should suck it up. Oftentimes, I do. I just take things and out of respect for her, I don't retaliate.
I am not a lover of drama.

Over the years, I have learned to not let some of her mom-isms get to me. A lot of it is meant well, she just doesn't say it in the right way. I really do think that is an inherent Caribbean trait. We may want to say "Wow, you look great. Have you lost weight?" but instead it will come out "Yuh too skinny. No man is gonna want a skinny woman." You feel me?

So many times, I call my mom looking for support and I will end up having to call elsewhere or find it in myself. However, I love her to pieces. That is just her way.

She is also the woman that had two children when my father was gone and raised us both to be good people. We care about our family and each other. Last year when she was undergoing surgery, her two kids stayed at her side the entire time.

Her greatest gift was to always make us laugh at ourselves and not take anything too seriously. She is a natural born comedienne. She can cook her behind off and she is always a diva. One of the best dressed women I know, with a knack for always looking pulled together. She will give you the shirt off her back if you need it and she would sacrifice her last dollar for her children.

So maybe she tends to have a harsh tongue but she has a huge heart. I wouldn't have it any other way.

18 Comments:

Blogger proacTiff said...

I'm not just saying this to be saying it, but I promise you have just described my mother to a TEE. Outside of my mother not being Caribbean born, she can cook, raised me single-handedly to be the debutante her parents brought her up to be (except I tried my best to rebel and that's a stroy for another day) and is both sharp-tongued and sensitive to mainly my words and opinion of her. If your mommy is anything remotely close to the way mine is, she is privately and publicly proud to exclaim you as her daughter. Then, with their similar sounding personalities, doesn't hesitate to let the onlookers know exactly who "we" get our inherit traits from. Them.

Lest I not forget that Mr. Pro has witnessed all of this and now adds his opinion on the way my mother is; which we know can be a sensitive area. They are both "family" in a different way. I only got one momma, don't be talking about her. Hey, I only got one husband, he has a right to his opinion especially when he witnesses my hurt that I often have to hold in out of "biblical" respect.

Thanks for this. It makes me appreciate my mother in spite of...

5:17 AM  
Blogger proacTiff said...

Oops, not to be confused with that other call ~laffs~, but I forgot to mention that I had officially won the gold, first comment medal.

*Strolls off*

5:21 AM  
Blogger 1969 said...

I love Pro.

5:28 AM  
Blogger Organized Noise said...

Enjoy the weekend with your mother.

5:45 AM  
Blogger BK said...

LMAO@ PRO!!!

Girl you DEFINITELY described my mom.. but I must say in her old age she is becoming a lil soft!!!! her mouth still don't have no cover BUT she is a softee when it comes to her grandkids.. and I'm sure your mom is the same LOL

Yes.. that caribbean heritage is what makes us the strong women we are.. LOL I dont doubt it..some of the things my mom said to me growing up and when I look back now I'm like WOW!!!!

Hugs.. enjoy your time with your mom.. and umm save me a roti.. I'm coming to pick up it up on sunday.. better yet just save me some curry shark.. i can do without the "roti skin" LOL


love ya girl!

5:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My mom is better than your mom. What you got to say about that?! Huh?!? What?! Thought so.

Have a good weekend!

5:53 AM  
Blogger Minerva Exertion said...

You and your mommy have a great weekend!!!

6:37 AM  
Blogger Ms. Lee said...

Moms. You gotta love 'em.

Have a great weekend.

7:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, to have a West Indian mother. Have a great weekend with yours!

8:06 AM  
Blogger Erica Bunker said...

Remember -- Moms are Moms! LOL Just have fun and enjoy her!

9:24 AM  
Blogger Little Brown Girl said...

Sounds so much like Sue B...she gets on my last nerve OFTEN but I love that women to death. And she's as cute as a button. Mommy's you gotta love them!

enjoy your weekend with Moms, et. al!

9:52 AM  
Blogger So...Wise...Sista said...

Yup. Thats my mom. Awwwww, gotta love Caribbean Mamas!

Question is, what kind of Caribbean Mama are YOU becoming?? :)

11:03 AM  
Blogger 1969 said...

Wise...I am trying to BREAK THE DAMN MOLD....LOL

11:06 AM  
Blogger Virtuous said...

Now I know where you get your sense for fashion!

But honestly thank God your mother is still here. My mother past away when I was very young and I wish I knew her and had some kind of mother/daughter bond. That will always be a hole in my heart.

Have a great weekend with your Mama!!! :oD

11:11 AM  
Blogger Jameil said...

yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! my mom's coming for my bday next month and i'm so excited i can barely see straight. and i can't necessarily look to her for comfort, either. but that doesn't stop me from trying.

11:41 AM  
Blogger Tired of being broke said...

There is nothing like a caribbean mother. You just described my mother down to the way she compliments you. It is just that thing in them.
Your comment about the skinny compliment had me laughing. I had lost a bunch of weight a few years ago. My mom's response was 'But eh why u marga, marga so....come sit down and eat, u no look healthy'. Mind you I was a size 8.

6:58 PM  
Blogger Gemini Girl aka GG said...

my mom drives me crazy also..she's a cancer and sometimes we clash and at other times we are best friends.
she calls me too early when I tell her not to..she keeps me on the phone when I'm rushing out the door..she tells me to dress up and do my hair "if I want a man"..or she says "if you had worn sexy dresses and high heels maybe you'd still be married"...
but then in the next breath I could hear her tell someone else how proud she is of me..but I've never heard those words out loud and directed towards me *sigh*

took me a long time to appreciate her..I had to walk in her shoes a few times to understand how strong and tough she really is...I've done all this in my life because of her..I know this now.
have fun with yours...my mom will be in at the end of August and she cooks too..but just meats LOL one morning I woke up to shrimp, steak, bbq chicken, meatloaf..and I'm thinking..okay what goes with this?? she says: "i'm done cooking i need to watch my soaps" *smh*..weird bird that one...lol

4:30 AM  
Blogger Nikita T. Mitchell said...

gotta love mamas. I'm the daughter of a headstrong caribbean woman as well. And no matter how much I try to fight it, everyday I feel another part of me turning into her. I must admit though, most of it is a good thing.

So like Wise said, what kinda Caribbean mama are you? You may break the mold in some ways but I have a feeling you wont escape it completely! I got a while to go before I have kids but I'm getting curious about what kind I'll be!

11:07 AM  

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