Babysitting sucks
Men. I just think that sometimes, I could be alone with my kids. Enjoying them, caring for them, without the stress of a man. Husbands sometimes are like having another child. They need lots of attention. You have to cater to their egos.
When you are dating, that may be fun....when you work ten hours a day and come home to two children you grow tired of it.
Mr. 1969 and I had an argument last night. Taliban 1 was making jokes in school when the teacher was speaking (class clown) so he came home and was sent to bed. When I walked in the door, he was up in his room crying. I agreed that he needed to be taught a lesson and to understand the ramifications of his actions. However, after an hour, I asked if he had eaten dinner and Mr. 1969 said NO and he wasn't planning on giving him any. The child is 4. He hadn't eaten since lunchtime. C'mon people.
I made him some food and he ate it in his room and then I went up, took the plate away and made him go to bed (after having a very firm talk with him about consequences, respect, etc...).
My hubby flipped on me because he claims I never listen to him, I undermine him when he is dealing with Taliban 1, etc. I told him (very calmly) that I have no problem with him being sent to bed early and staying in his room for the rest of the night but a four year old needs his dinner. I didn't go to his room and play with him...I left the plate in there and shut the door. An hour later, I went up there and collected the plate, had another TALK with him and left.
Mr. 1969 starts yelling at me which then turns into a tirade about some other thing he's "really" mad at me for. After I let him get all of that off his chest I washed the dishes, gave the baby a bath and put him to bed. I left him downstairs watching football and went to bed. This morning, we didn't say a word to each other.
I know, I know....this is a fight that I am sure will blow over in a few days...however, I am so tired of dealing with immaturity. If you are angry about something, spit it out and stop holding sh*t in. Talk about it. I can't read minds.
I have a job and two kids to worry about. I know you need attention...hell, so do I, but guess what? Sometimes, you can't have it. We have two kids and a household to run. Our needs have to take a backseat sometimes. I have grasped that concept. And you?
Yes, I spent money on Christmas stuff that you didn't want me to spend. Then again, if we left Christmas to you.....everyone would get a pair of socks. Thrifty azz.
And why is it that to have peace in the house, the wife inevitably has to give in? WHY?
Guess what, we can celebrate the Holidays in silence. Silent Night for real.
I am bored *YAWN* by this whole tantrum thing. Hope he gets a lump of coal in his stocking cause 1969 is not moved. Am I wrong?
When you are dating, that may be fun....when you work ten hours a day and come home to two children you grow tired of it.
Mr. 1969 and I had an argument last night. Taliban 1 was making jokes in school when the teacher was speaking (class clown) so he came home and was sent to bed. When I walked in the door, he was up in his room crying. I agreed that he needed to be taught a lesson and to understand the ramifications of his actions. However, after an hour, I asked if he had eaten dinner and Mr. 1969 said NO and he wasn't planning on giving him any. The child is 4. He hadn't eaten since lunchtime. C'mon people.
I made him some food and he ate it in his room and then I went up, took the plate away and made him go to bed (after having a very firm talk with him about consequences, respect, etc...).
My hubby flipped on me because he claims I never listen to him, I undermine him when he is dealing with Taliban 1, etc. I told him (very calmly) that I have no problem with him being sent to bed early and staying in his room for the rest of the night but a four year old needs his dinner. I didn't go to his room and play with him...I left the plate in there and shut the door. An hour later, I went up there and collected the plate, had another TALK with him and left.
Mr. 1969 starts yelling at me which then turns into a tirade about some other thing he's "really" mad at me for. After I let him get all of that off his chest I washed the dishes, gave the baby a bath and put him to bed. I left him downstairs watching football and went to bed. This morning, we didn't say a word to each other.
I know, I know....this is a fight that I am sure will blow over in a few days...however, I am so tired of dealing with immaturity. If you are angry about something, spit it out and stop holding sh*t in. Talk about it. I can't read minds.
I have a job and two kids to worry about. I know you need attention...hell, so do I, but guess what? Sometimes, you can't have it. We have two kids and a household to run. Our needs have to take a backseat sometimes. I have grasped that concept. And you?
Yes, I spent money on Christmas stuff that you didn't want me to spend. Then again, if we left Christmas to you.....everyone would get a pair of socks. Thrifty azz.
And why is it that to have peace in the house, the wife inevitably has to give in? WHY?
Guess what, we can celebrate the Holidays in silence. Silent Night for real.
I am bored *YAWN* by this whole tantrum thing. Hope he gets a lump of coal in his stocking cause 1969 is not moved. Am I wrong?
posted by 1969 at
5:46 AM
18 Comments:
OhMy! I wish I had some advice for this one but anything I say will be from the single persons perspective and therefore not very helpful. However, if it is any help...I do agree with you. You can't NOT feed a 4 year old...punishment is one thing but somethings are just taking it too far...that would of been one of them.
Marriage...while I often times think I want it there are other times when I am wondering why? I know with the bad also comes the good...but I'm just saying. Maybe when I'm older...much older. But I don't think I'm built for it right now.
Keep your head up Big Sis...I am sure he'll get over himself before Christmas is at the door.
Not trying to defend but could he be feeling insecure or even jealous?
I don't know I am single so my advice may not be helpful like rd said.
Yes, men are notorious for holding stuff and then exploding. I have done it and I am a woman. LOL. So what is the real reason?
Have you had this happen before? What was his reason for not feeding him? Who usually does the punishments and do you agree together?
Could he be jealous of the time you give the kids or that you took over power when you gave him the dinner? Or is there something that has nothing to do with you bothering him?
LOL. Yeah, I know, I know. When you are pissed some stuff does not matter. Just my ponderings.
I do agree at 4, he should still eat. Now if he was older, like a teenager, and did something real crazy then going without a meal may teach a lesson. LOL. I know that sounds cruel.
Not giving him food would not teach that baby a lesson only hurt him emotionally IMHO.
Don't stress, all a man wants is three things: 1) Great conversation; 2) Wet sex; and 3) A grill cheese sandwich...
If you continually give him these things your marriage will last forever!!!
Don't ask me why I'm laffin at this post but I am! I'm sorry! I think I'm laffin becuz this is such a "classic" example of how men are so different from us! How in the world would the lil 4 yr old process/corelate that his daddy didnt give him dinner and him acting out in school? It's sad but a man is a man is a man all day long and we either gonna have to live w/ 'em or kill 'em and we too pretty ta be in jail. That's my 2 cents, that's all I got *sigh* I'm sorry..
Not feeding a 4 year old is little extreme. So, I totally agree with you. Keep your head up...this too shall pass.
He was tripping. My husband's parents were from Mississippi and he was raised with that iron fist mentality. I have a degree in Elementary Education so I am more on the cerebral side when it comes to disciplining kids. I do agree that sometimes a whooping is great but at 4....I think being sent to bed straight after school is fine. We also sat down and had a talk about what our expectations were when he is in school. Told him how the 69's are leaders, not followers and that we expect him to carry himself like a leader in school and in life. The usual parent stuff.
Now, if he comes home with this same situation again....that may be cause for a beat down.
But at 4, I think sending him to bed without dinner is extreme. Period. I don't care what your mom and dad did.
Although he would never say it, I do feel like he gets jealous of my closeness with the kids. He went from having his wife all to himself to sharing me with two boys. I am sure that somewhere, deep down, it irks him a little.
I say Man Up. LOL.
My marriage philosposhy is that if it isn't something you are getting a divorce over, then you just have to fix it. So I know that eventually, I will have to breathe and approach him. Right now though, he can pout until New Year's.
I agree with ya.Feed the baby Feed the baby.
Your hubby was clearly annoyed with you about some other shit.
But ya know how we can be..Men get punished by their women for telling the truth.
I don't agree but I can understand..
Just the other day I watched my parents argue in from of me about some bullshit...The funny part is that when they were done. My Mom says calmly to Slish Sr " Baby yuh ready for your dinner now." My father smiles and responds " yes dear" I couldn't stop laughing...Whats my point. Both you and your husband not speaking to one another this morning is WRONG. Now I don't know the whole story but not to speak will build more tension. Couples will always disagree and argue I mean if you didn't life would be soooo boring.
Go home tonight, give your husband a warm kiss, and say I appreciate you...If I knew his email address and I would tell him to do the same thing to you...:)
Slish....your parents are too cute.
I agree with you but WHY OH WHY is it always the women that have to make the move and fix what's wrong?
He cussed me out. He was mad. I calmly made dinner, fed everyone and gave baths and went to bed. I didn't cuss him out at all. I merely told him that I did not agree with him on feeding the boy.
Then he woke up and didn't speak to me. Why is it okay for him to act like a four year old? I'm just saying.....enlighten a sister.
Men just don't get it especially when dealing with sons. My husband tells me that I "baby" my son and I'm making him "soft" because I defend him all of the time. He claims that he has to be "harder" on the boy than the girls to make him a man. Is this not just the mother in me? Am I not suppose to protect my young... even against the paternal parent?
Marriage.
KZ
I do not know anything about marriage, but I do believe in this piece of wisdom. Would you rather be happy, or would you rather be right? So you suck it up and make the first move. It doesn't make you weak it makes you smart. I believe in making the peace because kids can feel tension.
Miz JJ...I'd rather be right!!!! LOL Good advice :)
Zed...I feel ya!
Erica...inhale. Why the need to break down a 4 year old? For real.
I say since he wants to act like a 4 year old treat him like how he tried to treat your 4 year old...stop feeding him Adult snacks and see how he likes it...
I say for him to man up. Women seem to always have to be the peace-keeper. Hell, you the leader man, act like it. You cannot be lead by childish behavior. Maybe he needs to go to bed without dinner. LOL. Silent treatment.
weeelllll....everyone has put in the comments that I woulda said.
With me (and it's just the way I am) these are my thoughts, so here goes Sixy......
#1. I could care LESS if you thought that my child (CHILD) shoulda gone without food. That is inhumane to me and you can be mad about until your NUTS fall off and I would.not.give.a.shit. I would not be talking UNTIL his ass apologized. Period. Punishment is one thing and sometimes there are no "two sides to a story", there is simply a right and a wrong and I agree with Shai in that he needs to "man up" and ADMIT he was wrong as 10 left shoes.
#2. I commend you for being calm. I woulda been cussing his behind RIGHT back out.....you are not going to make ME feel like shit because I am being MORE responsible on this issue. Not gonna happen.
#3. It may be wrong, but I do not give in. Meaning, why should i make you feel like you got over on me AND LIKE YOU ARE RIGHT when you're CLEARLY not. No. For me.....that set's a bad precedent because the NEXT time you'll be "expecting" me to acquiesce and to get your way on some equally wrong shit. Now, I am not saying I will be screaming and yelling at you, but if you are wrong (and sometimes they are) you will NOT just "get'cho way". I mean, I wouldn't just let my 2 1/2 year old "get away" with something that was wrong, why would I let my husband who is much older , get away with thinking all he does is all good?
#4. It is unequivocally true that he is jealous of the relationship that you have with the kids and very possible that this little tantrum (because men often mimic kids....albeit they are big kids) MAY be him just displacing his frustration about that or something ELSE on you.
But again, inc losing I am of your theory, MAN UP. We are all adults and we ALL have baggage. You are now responsible for trying to CHANGE some of those FUCKED up things that are imbedded in YOU from childhood/growing up, so that you can be an even BETTER parent.
So, he would be waiting until doomsday for an apology from me on this. LOL The closest he would get is "Honey I am sorry we argued (see,I am not apologizing for my actions) and when you are ready, we can talk about what happened".
Above and beyond that...... I have a home and 2 kids to take care of and until you can stopa cting like the THIRD child....there's nothing to talk about. :-)
And this is why Robyn is my girl....LOVE IT!!!!!
lol@'silent night for real'. i'm gonna be snickering at that one for a hot minute. i wonder about that whole 'wife giving in first' thing too and i don't dig it one bit.
you were right on this one. a kid gotta eat.
and why do guys hold stuff like that in? MAN, but it would be so much easier if they just spilled it.
I am late on this one, they got be working hard in anticipation of my time off next week.
Anywho...I don't think the child should go without dinner but he should know that his behavior is unacceptable.
On the other issue, when you figure out why men try to blow up on you about one thing when they are really pissed abut something else, PLEASE let me know. That bugs the hell out of me!
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