An Open Letter to Miss Porter
Dear Kim:
May I call you Kim? I may not know you, but your story strikes a chord with me. I know so many women that are caught up in a similar situation and I feel that it must be addressed.
Over the weekend, you were spotted back in the arms of your ex-boyfriend at his annual party in the Hamptons. In addition, a close friend of mine who is also a close friend of yours claims that you have taken him back due to his current promise of marriage and you were seen "canoodling" with him throughout the party and then spent the night with him "allegedly".
Now I know folks going through this same situation and yes, at least you stand to gain some money.
However, it seems that you have sold your self-respect to the highest bidder. As a mother, I implore you to think about the message you are sending to your children. To continually allow a man to cheat and then take him back leads to a dead end.
The man obviously has lost respect for you. You can lie to yourself but you have damaged your own self-worth.
Make that clean start, don't allow him to throw in the claims of "marriage". You were good enough to sit up in the house and make babies for him. To look pretty at the parties in your nice dresses. To play house with. But he has proven time and again that he is not willing to stop living the single life for you. Your feelings are not at the forefront of his mind when he is spending time at the Riviera.
Even if he does marry you, what then? Like I said, I don't know you, but I know that enough is enough. Start over and live your life. Leave for good, leave for your children. Teach them that mommy is putting herself and their happiness before the money. Good luck....you're gonna need it.
May I call you Kim? I may not know you, but your story strikes a chord with me. I know so many women that are caught up in a similar situation and I feel that it must be addressed.
Over the weekend, you were spotted back in the arms of your ex-boyfriend at his annual party in the Hamptons. In addition, a close friend of mine who is also a close friend of yours claims that you have taken him back due to his current promise of marriage and you were seen "canoodling" with him throughout the party and then spent the night with him "allegedly".
Now I know folks going through this same situation and yes, at least you stand to gain some money.
However, it seems that you have sold your self-respect to the highest bidder. As a mother, I implore you to think about the message you are sending to your children. To continually allow a man to cheat and then take him back leads to a dead end.
The man obviously has lost respect for you. You can lie to yourself but you have damaged your own self-worth.
Make that clean start, don't allow him to throw in the claims of "marriage". You were good enough to sit up in the house and make babies for him. To look pretty at the parties in your nice dresses. To play house with. But he has proven time and again that he is not willing to stop living the single life for you. Your feelings are not at the forefront of his mind when he is spending time at the Riviera.
Even if he does marry you, what then? Like I said, I don't know you, but I know that enough is enough. Start over and live your life. Leave for good, leave for your children. Teach them that mommy is putting herself and their happiness before the money. Good luck....you're gonna need it.
posted by 1969 at
2:28 PM
23 Comments:
I applaud you sis!!!! this was a great open letter and you are right too many women are going through the same thing.. I was ONE of them.... KEY WORD WAS!!!!
Same shyt different day.. Make a new day for yourself Kim.. for you and your children.. HELL DO IT FOR YA ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER.. before she ends up thinking THAT ITS OK...
Bottom Line....
She LOVES that man. And all of the reasoning in the world won't chnage that. We've all seen women stay in abusive relationships before. This is just a different kind of abuse. It can't be all about the money cause we know Puff will give her that.
I feel for her. She has fallen into the trap that 1000s before her have fallen in ..."if i can just get him to marry me he'll change, he'll slow down, he'll love me like i love him" It's a horrible trap to be in, but until her heart stops leading her, she won't break away.
It's not good for her kids to see this but they will also question their father when they're old enough.
Also Puff is DEAD wrong. He knows that she's weak and he won't let her go. When she goes away, he goes and gets her. He won't let her go either. He REAL wrong cause he exploiting her weakness. He wants her to wait for him. To wait around and be there when he's finished running and playing around and ready to be husband and full time Daddy. I guess that will happen around 60.
BK...they just had twin girls...she has two daughters and two sons. (The oldest is Al B. Sure's son). Professional golddigger.
Philly...the whole situation is sad. Unfortunately, she is the only one that can put an end to it.
BRAVO! This is what she needs, a good Sista-Friends circle for support. Obviously those she surrounds herself with are pushing her up to get the money. It's obvious that she loves this man and I really feel sorry for her that she is this caught up with him. This may sound trite but I've seen women in the same situation only they were with broke azz kneegrows! Kim better save for a rainy day while living in the lap of luxury.
Puffy wins!
KZ
Hi 1969 and blog family,
the situation w/Kim and Diddy is truly a sad one. In my opinion ..Kim has lost herself and also her self esteem. I've been in the same position before w/someone ( big bucks, not included) pretending to be a man, but he really didn't have a clue. I would leave and vow to never go back, but he would call and there I was... in my case..I just wanted to be loved and I thought "babyboy" was the one. Kim, I do believe loves Diddy...but he will never love her the way a man should. She's his toy and he pulls her out and plays w/her in his spare time. At this point she's trapped in "Diddy Land", so she can't move on for her children...until she can move on for herself and see her worth. It takes much prayer and some major courage to walk away, from something/someone that causes so much pain. If all you've ever known is hurt and all you've experienced is on again/off again relationships, then this may very well seem normal at the time. I hope she finds the strength to move forward w/her life.....
Alot of folks keeps saying she is with him for the money. She is just like any other woman who falls for a man hard and cannot let go and it is not all about the money. Emotional ties.
I'm gonna have to say the money has something to do with it....jusalilbit.
Love is a helluva drug...
and apparently so is the shiny suit. :(
Let me see here. I knock you up twice, you live at the crib, take care of my babies, allow me to go out and do my thing, come home, get some more from you and I don't have to buy you a ring?!?!? Hold up and there's evidence in PRINT (black and white) that I'm not ready to get married and you still staying?!?! Where's the sign up sheet??!?!? Put me down.
Some women bring these situations on themselves. Granted some men are natural born fuckups BUT if you allow your "house" to be a revolving door, you'll get dizzy. You gotta learn how to close the door shut with a dead bolt lock and toss the key. She keeps letting him stick his foot in the door and as soon as he sees the signs, he opens it up.
I'll shut up now. Good post.
@sixty.. don't know why I thought they had fraternal twins boy and girl.. LOL *shows how much I really care*..
Either way DATS WORSE.. you got 2 daughters who are like mommy WTF.. I can only imagine what her sons think.. ESPECIALLY the oldest..
she must not have any REAL girlfriends cause damn if they wouldn't have beat her upside her head by now.. I wonder how her family feels.. like damn girl you left you say for the "last time" and now cause he flaunted marriage you going back??
*don't be suprised we get a news report dat Diddy is dead at the hands of his estranged wife.. she is BOUND to snap*
BK, she just may have REAL girlfriends. But you know how it is when you've said all you can and backed off because in actuality it doesn't matter what you say.
She loves him and the lifestyle. Not sure which is stronger, but whatever. Nothing her friends or family say can change that. SHE has to make the decision.
I don't know her, and I've passed judgment in the past, but all I really I wish for her, is an awakening.
not just the kids need to go back to school this fall
Why did I know she would have gone back?
I know too many women who fall prey to this behavior... I had to tell a friend of mine that I realize her definition of happiness is not mine and let it go, or else we would have lost the friendship...
Kim Porter is the poster child of (psychologically) abusive relationships...
I do think the money is a factor.
If she stays with Diddy, she gets to live the lifestyle. She is from a small town in Georgia. She came to NY to be in the bright lights. She started out in videos and small modeling jobs before she began dating her first superstar.
When she was dating Mr.Sure and got pregnant, Diddy was an intern at Uptown records and he would try to talk to her everyday....she never responded to his advances. Diddy used to tell everyone back then that he was gnna have that girl one day. When his star began to rise and Mr. Sure's began to fall....she finally allowed him to take her out. Not a year after dating, she had the first baby. Yes, I think she loves him at this point and yes, she is caught up in an abusive relationship. However, the money and moreso, the lifestyle is most definitely a factor.
Like most of us have stated, I hope she can find the strength to walk away from it all and bring some sense of peace back to her life.
The money is definitely a factor. If he whadun't Diddy would she be so head over heels in love...Kobe's wife...the same thing...these women believe they'll be nothing without their superstar black men to hold on to....
:( so sad. i never want to be anywhere near that road.
The money is DEF the factor. I mean...it has to be.
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1969, I surely hope Kim or someone in her circle reads your blog! She needs to hear this!
For a glimpse into why she packed up and left Diddy and other nonsense, check out Essence.com. When the interviewer told Kim many people think she should be trying to get a ring on her finger, she started talking about how she doesn't have enough fingers for all the rings she has and that the lack of a proposal from Diddy is not the reason she left... BLANK STARE. Having a ring does not make you married. Nor do having a man's children and being in a 12-year "relationship" with him mean that a man will make a real commitment to you.
Kim needs to get a clue. If Diddy is "not ready" to be married, then it is not incumbent upon her to wait.
where da hell are her and her tribe of children supposed to go?
He's already paying a mint in child support as it is and not always on time.
It may look bad from the outside but who knows what it's like on the inside. I mean as poorly as men treat their child support payments I'd probably stay with all 75 of my damn kids too...just because once you leave you may not get a dime and that's allot of mouthes to feed!
Before Puff and Kim had the twins, he was in court fighting the child support order on the one son! Its 17% of the non-custodial parent's salary for the first child, whether you're a bus driver or Busta Rhymes. Three children? 29%
Eddie Murphy? Four Kids 31% and that's not even counting Lil' Scary Spice
I just wanna know where in the f*ck these raggedy men think they are going when they try to leave women who have three or four of their children without giving up a grip!?!?!
...And while you're writing letters can you write one to Tracey Edmonds, too? WTF?!?!
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