Some of ya'll got issues.
I tend to consider my life to be pretty boring. I get up, dress the Taliban, go to work, come home, feed the army, try and go to the gym, go to sleep. Every now and then I have a little fun. You know...basically, life is NOT a complicated thing.
Maybe we tend to create drama because we like....DRAMA. Seriously, some of us just like having something to talk about. It makes life more exciting, crazy, hectic, etc.
Lately, I have a few friends that are going through some thangs. You know...marriage, work, dating, family...the usual drama. But their situations are so EXTRA. And why are they so extreme? That's right....because they like it that way.
My life is not hunky dory either but I live by the "too blessed to be stressed" mantra. Now, it's different if you have real issues or hardships that are happening to you for no good reason. I will be your friend to the end. Call me anytime and we can disect the situation.
But for the ones that have the same mess going on over and over again? I have to let you in on a little secret....I don't have the time. If this is the fourth guy you've dated that won't call you back, lives with his mama, never takes you out in public, only calls you after 11pm to come over and introduces you as his friend? Why are we still talking about it. You like that abuse cause you keep going back to it.
To quote the wise Whitley Gilbert...Relax, Relate and Release.
Seriously....if everytime I ask "How's work?" you answer with a 30 minute tirade about the whyte man holding us down or the trifling heffa at your job...maybe after ten years....it's time to walk away?
Can we promise to try and take some of these issues by the horns in 2007? Can we take a long look at the recurring problems, whining and dead ends in our lives? Who is really to blame for some of these situations? And if we aren't to blame....are we ready to do what it takes to end it?
I vote for letting the baggage go for the New Year!
Maybe we tend to create drama because we like....DRAMA. Seriously, some of us just like having something to talk about. It makes life more exciting, crazy, hectic, etc.
Lately, I have a few friends that are going through some thangs. You know...marriage, work, dating, family...the usual drama. But their situations are so EXTRA. And why are they so extreme? That's right....because they like it that way.
My life is not hunky dory either but I live by the "too blessed to be stressed" mantra. Now, it's different if you have real issues or hardships that are happening to you for no good reason. I will be your friend to the end. Call me anytime and we can disect the situation.
But for the ones that have the same mess going on over and over again? I have to let you in on a little secret....I don't have the time. If this is the fourth guy you've dated that won't call you back, lives with his mama, never takes you out in public, only calls you after 11pm to come over and introduces you as his friend? Why are we still talking about it. You like that abuse cause you keep going back to it.
To quote the wise Whitley Gilbert...Relax, Relate and Release.
Seriously....if everytime I ask "How's work?" you answer with a 30 minute tirade about the whyte man holding us down or the trifling heffa at your job...maybe after ten years....it's time to walk away?
Can we promise to try and take some of these issues by the horns in 2007? Can we take a long look at the recurring problems, whining and dead ends in our lives? Who is really to blame for some of these situations? And if we aren't to blame....are we ready to do what it takes to end it?
I vote for letting the baggage go for the New Year!
posted by 1969 at
7:35 AM
15 Comments:
I second that motion!!! And I too promise *scouts honor* When we know better we do better, right?
Bbut seriously...who done urked you today, yo? Friends can be so draining sometimes and I admit I can be one of those draining friends...but like I said, when u know better u do better!!!
yes indeed friends can be challenging. i have probably been that friend at least once or twice:-)
luckily I my friends have been the most positive changes and influence in my life as of late...and i am truly thankful!
no more drama like mary j says!
Man, I'm coming across some GREAT posts today! AMEN to this one, too! I'm so with you! I am not the friend that will sit and cry with you while you feel sorry for yourself. I'm the one that will help you figure out where you want to go and will be right next to you while you get there. But, don't ask me to come join you down in your hole that you dug for yourself. It ain't me! :-)
Thanks for this!
I'm trying so hard in my old age to be the friend who just listens and doesn't offer my 1 buck worth of advice. But dayum, you're correct how long can you listen to your friends whine about the same old obvious stuff?? I resolved to accepting my friends just as they are. But they have to accept me too, just like I am. I AM THE WARTIME FRIEND. Call me when it's time for battle, I'm good at that. Hell, we can whine and cry after the fight is over. LOL
Ladies...you know when you have a friend that has a man problem...but the real problem is her choosing the same type of man with a different name,over and over again? **sigh**
I know that's right. I had to cut someone off last year for this very reason. I'm sick of hearing it ... your life is not that bad, girlie. For real.
I concur I'm tired of long drawn out explanations...that all begin with a well...which makes me want to stab myself in the eyeball. You know he's not into you so please stop lying to yourself LOL...hopefully I dont have to say that to anyone
*high five* :)
or it can be the friends that always want to hash up old shyt!!! LOL
Lemme say it with you.. 2 BLESSED 2 BE STRESSED!!!!
Like my song of the Day.. No MO Drama & Take Me as I am!!!
*hugs ma*
I have to agree. Some things are not resolved overnight. I have a friend I can really talk to and sometimes it is about the same things I struggle with. The difference I also share my lessons and what I need to do to change things. Sometimes we are not ready to change or it is not time yet. I I like to say, The "through" moment is a mf. God gives us answers in his own time and sometimes the through moment is longer than you wish.
The key is to learn regardless of what phase you are in and let go of whatever it is when you are through. It ain't easy. I do know it feels good when you let go, it hurts for a time then you feel so free.
I'm new to your spot, I'll be sure to come thru more and comment.
I have to agree with you, I have a lot of friends that have the same things going on and with the same person. One friend in particular, when she calls with her drama, I know who it concerns without fail. She's been back and forth with the same 2 guys for like 5 years. That's just crazy.
Don't get me wrong, I've had my share of unnecessary drama, but I lived and most importantly did my best to learn the lessons and pray to learn from those to come.
You know how I deal with it? I don't listen anymore especially if I've given them advice on it before. As soon as they start up, I cut them off. I don't want to hear it. Sometimes tough love is the best love.
I think everyone has a friend who is like Chicken Little, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling". If you don't, then it's probably you! I don't have time for the continous train wrecks. Their drama starts weighing heavily on your spirit.
I hope your girls get a clue..by a vowel...or find Jesus because they are letting their lives waste away constantly being in drama.
You told the truth here. It is like some people love Drama, and would probably go crazy if not for the crazy drama... But some don't like the flip side of the "no drama lifestyle": and that is the so-called boring lifestyle.
I like your mantra... "too blessed to be stressed." More of us need to think that way.
You're right. Had to be said, enough said. . .
I, too, know people, where they do have self imposed, as I like to call it, drama. And it keeps repeating itself. It's not because such and such is a dog, or the man is trying to get you, or sister girl ain't right. . .It's you and your behavior patterns.
It's easy to play the victim; hard (though powerful) to admit your mistakes, and face who you are - and who you are not. . . Which sometimes directly lies w/n why drama keeps swirling around then like a hamster's wheel.
Good Post
here here
I am doing my best
it's hard to stop dating those trifling men when you get stuck in that habit and I'm just about getting some baaad withdrawal symptoms but I'm working at it.
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