Are you ready for some football?

Fall is around the corner. The air is crisp. The wind is picking up. In the 1969 house, this can only mean one thing....FOOTBALL SEASON is upon us.

Yes, I am one of those women that watches football. I don't just watch to see who's cute and looks good in their uniform...I watch the game.

Actually, I study the game. I grew up somewhat of a tomboy. I played softball, swam and ran track. Since I can remember, I have loved watching football.

My team has long been the NY Football GIANTS. However, my AFC team is the Pittsburgh Steelers. I guess growing up hating the Cowboys, I ended up always rooting for the Black and Gold. They have grown on me.

But back to the Giants. They were my team when all we had was Lawrence Taylor. In the days before Parcell's arrived and built the monster squad of the late 80's when the NFC was the TRUTH. Carson, Banks and Reasons. Joe Morris and Mark Bavaro. Simms and McConkney. I grew up with these guys.

Now we have a new squad, led by a young quarterback with a lot to prove. We have Tiki Barber who has learned to actually hang on to the ball and run his ass off.
Michael "brokeback" Strahan who needs to step up the leadership this year. New blood in Levar Arrington. And the lovely....Will Demps. Who cares what position this kid plays....his skin is flawless and he is so damn pretty. LOL



So get some wings and a grab a beer.....and GO GIANTS. Let the games begin.

It's not easy without green

CASH rules everything around me....The Wu.

You all know that I didn't grow up rich. Working class at best. Sometimes poor. Like many of you, my family unit struggled to make ends meet.

With my own family, I am sure we do what other parents do...we struggle but don't share it with the kids. We just purchased our first home this past year. We are in the midst of renovating and updating two bathrooms and will eventually be adding on a deck. It's a project but we love it.

In addition to our new mortgage, we have two car payments and two children. They are both in daycare. Daycare alone is about $400/week. No, I didn't stutter...I said per WEEK.

So when I get a call from my baby brother, who says he is struggling. I have to cuss his a$$ out. You have a good job, get to live in the apartment at my mom's house RENT FREE, always have on the latest freshest gear, just came back from a trip to Miami....and you are calling me to lament over being broke?

Do I look like I give a damn? It's called money management. Figure that mess out.
My salary gets stretched further than Monique's girdle....ya feel me?

Taliban 1 + Taliban 2 = Poorhouse

I just got done back to school shopping. Between supplies for both kids for the year (and yes, even babies have supplies like diapers every week, food for school, wipes, antibacterial crap, lotion, etc...) and then clothes and shoes. Mama is spent.

In addition, I have a house to pay for and run. Breaks my heart to hear that he spent his money drinking and now has to eat mom's free cooking for the rest of the week.

Young folks...INVEST AND SAVE. I didn't start out on the right path to financial freedom but I will not raise kids that way. I plan to raise millionaires who can eventually choose a career they love and not choose one that pays the bills.

Black folks, we have to get our financial lives in order.

Standing at the Crossroads

I have been at my job for 3 years now. I have been with the company for 7 years. I may have an opportunity to interview for a position outside of the company. More money and a better title. However, I love the company I currently work for. Great benefits. Very understanding of my family time. Great people.

However, I have become stagnant in this position. I am looking for the next challenge. Do I give up all of my stuff to take a chance? The other company is probably #2 behind my company's #1 status in this industry. They are reputable as well.

*Sigh* I guess I have lots of thinking to do before I send out this resume this afternoon.

Pace Uni. Dutty wine competition

This is the funniest thing I have seen all day. Enjoy!

Never post while on cold medicine

So I am sitting here in my office waiting for the day to be over. I just drank an iced latte, took some cold medicine and I am so loopy it's not even funny.

Of course, I am absolutely DONE with working so in an effort to kill time...I will ramble and post whatever strange crap comes to mind.

How come the white folks can chat in the office all day long but the minute more than two BROWN folks stop to have a conversation, one of them has to come by and say "Is everything okay?".....paranoid Bastards.

Why does this one woman on my floor insist on wearing clothes two sizes too small for her? I mean the seams are bursting on her skirt. She can barely walk in it. That is NOT APPROPRIATE AT ALL. Looks like it freaking hurts.

Are all bosses annoying? Even me?

Why was I in Limited Too shopping for my goddaughter's birthday present and I saw THONGS? What nine year old needs a damn thong? I didn't know they made those? The end is upon us for sure!

How come my son (Taliban #2) can say "Daddy" clear as day but calls me "Nay Nay"???WTF. Is that his version of mommy?

Why was I in Target with my oldest son (Taliban #1) and he dropped something and exclaimed "JESUS CHRIST" at the top of his lungs? You know I promptly made him walk back down the toy aisle and put that power ranger action figure down and took his little butt back home immediately. He wailed like a captured slave all the way home. "I'M SOOOORRRRRYYY MOMMY." Then I had to cuss Daddy out cause that's exactly where he learned it.

Why did I log on to the computer last night and my hubby left his favorite Brazilian Gang Bang website up and running? Pure comedy in the 1969 household....

Why didn't I invent bottled water? INGENIOUS

Am I a magnet for old men with no teeth? And what's with the "Hi Redbone"? Ewwwwwww

Ever notice that you will come to work feeling good but feel sick the minute you get in the building? Then miraculously feel better when you walk out? WORK ALLERGIES????

Does the copier only need paper whenever I get to it? DAMN

Is it time to go home yet????????????????????????

Please watch

When The Levees Broke. Spike Lee's documentary on Hurricane Katrina. Get the real story not the media version of events.

It's eye opening and horrifying at the same time.

An Ode To The Vapors

I once dated a gentleman when I lived in Maryland. He was a good guy. Very intelligent. Very ambitious. Very charming and handsome. He was definitely a ladies man. We got along great. Shared great conversations. Debated back and forth. Had lots of chemistry.

During our friendship, we had a strictly no strings relationship. However, it was obvious that we were extremely compatible. He also came to me for business advice and I would be totally honest with him and give lots of constructive feedback. It was obvious that he had feelings for me that could have gone further but I knew that he had lots of female friends so I kept him at arms length. It was also obvious that he was not ready to give up the player lifestyle.

Eventually, I met my future husband. I cut him off and moved on with my life. We stayed friends but nothing ever happened between us again. He also eventually married.

Last month, he was in Philly on Business and I ran into him. Still charming, still handsome, still a flirt. His business has grown and he is doing extremely well.
I told him that I was proud of him, asked him how the family was. He responded immediately with the "my wife is driving me crazy" but I "love my son" statements. Started giving me the details of how he messed up and should have been with me. We were always so comfortable together. I never stressed him out. He was seeing both of us and he ended up with the wrong one.

YAWN. Brother please. You were dating me. I was a professional female. Had my own condo. My own ride. Never sweated you or your whereabouts. Could talk about anything from CSpan and world affairs to Mobb Deep. Was gracious at your company Holiday Party and carried on intelligent debates with your counterparts regarding all topics as I sat at their table looking flawless. Put it down in the kitchen and the bedroom. Had all of your boys asking you what's up? Why aren't you trying to lock this one down? And NOW you realize that I was a catch?

Look Bruh....Go back home to the woman you chose and work that sh*t out okay? Hug your kid and honor your commitment. I don't know if you know....but I AIN'T THE ONE.
If you want to cheat on your wife....find another ex. Yeah, I know you bumped into me and I had my hair freshly done, my black power suit on with the cranberry colored stilletos. You couldn't believe I had two kids due to my hard work at the gym and I am still mad cool. Yeah Yeah. My husband and I are aware that I'm a catch. Thanks but no thanks.

What does the Biz Markie say? Damn it feels good to see people up on it.

Topic of the day

I just finished reading an issue of DiversityInc magazine. This is a magazine targeted to working women of color.

The first article to catch my eye is entitled "You're So Articulate"...how to respond.
Has this ever happened to you in the office? It happens to me all the time.

How do you respond to this without coming across and the angry, militant black person while still letting the person know they are ignorant as hell?

Monday's Question....

I'll never turn my back on you

This isn't living now
A thing my father said to me
And get a haircut, boy
If you want a chance in respectable society
Why did you stop writing?
I knew you had some trouble, son
But you should know by now
That my number doesn't change
Because my dirty deed is done

All I need from you
And that's all
Regardless of whatever you do
And that is that you understand
That I'll never turn my back on you

Terrence Trent D'Arby

My Dad and my mom dated as teenagers. My mom got pregnant at 17 and the relationship never progressed. My mom ended up moving to the US when I was four and remarried eventually and I have a younger brother. My Dad married and had three children. My parents eventually divorced after ten years of marriage. My mom became a single mom. We struggled so much after the divorce. Things got very hard for us. I don't share the story too much but my mom had a really hard time for a few years. Two kids, she lost her job and neither Dad was really in the picture. For me, I grew up a little angry. I often wondered why neither one cared about me. My mom was working so hard to give us whatever we needed and she never complained in front of us, but now, as a mother, I know how hard it must have been for her.

My mom ended up getting a small part time job at a Hospital. I am so proud of my mother. She started as a clerk admitting patients into the hospital. Checking paperwork and insurance, etc. She became the Director of Admissions in that very Nursing Home/Hospital through sheer hard work. We had so many rough times together and I guess because I was the oldest and her daughter, we really share a special bond. Many times, I had to drop a class at school because I just couldn't afford the books. I never told my mom because I didn't want to put pressure on her finances. Instead, I did what she had taught me, I got jobs and did the best I could. I worked hard. I always had good grades but I made sure that I studied and worked harder than the other kids. I learned all of that from her. I want to thank my mother for always being the best PARENT I could have ever wanted. She never left me. As a young girl, pregnant in a time when it was not accepted so easily, she could have easily chosen not to have me. She could have continued on under her academic scholarship and who knows what she would have become...but instead, she chose me. She didn't run away from the situation. She faced it. I am who I am today because of the choices she made. Mom, whenever you read this, please know that I am glad you made that choice.

In all fairness, my Dad had tried for many years to stay in touch with me. I would often get word from aunts in Trinidad that he had asked about me. I remember being younger and my aunts snuck me out to a park where I got to see him for a few minutes. It was an awkward situation because my mom was married at the time and my Dad didn't want to rock the boat of the man who was raising me. I was young and very introspective. I didn't talk about my feelings. It was hard for me to see my father. I knew that my brother had his father but I was very confused as to why my father didn't try to be with me. My young mind couldn't comprehend the dynamics of the situation.

When I was thirteen, I went to Trinidad for a month with my brother. I remember that my Father immediately called and wanted to see me. He picked me up and we spent the day in Tobago. We swam at the beach and had a good time. Later that night, he took me to his house where I met his wife and his two sons. The boys were young. Maybe three and five? They were very cute and playful.

At 13, I wanted to be a part of my father's life very badly. I was hurt that he had an entire family that I knew nothing about. I had brothers. Cousins. Uncles and Aunts. In my mind, I had imagined that he was mean and just didn't want me around. In reality, he was very sweet and he was a good father...to his sons. I could tell they were a loving and happy family. I just felt so much on the outside looking in.

My parents eventually got divorced. My stepfather remarried and disappeared. He never sent child support for us even though he knew my mom had lost her job. He bought a house and had another son. I was so angry with him for leaving us like that. We had been a family. He raised me from the age of 7 to 17. He was the only father I had ever known. What made me even angrier was the fact that he did that to my brother. My brother was his oldest son. He turned his back on him to a certain extent and because it had happened to me, I knew the pain my brother was going through. I don't think my brother has ever recovered from that experience.

In a way, I had lost two dads. I had lots of trouble in relationships with men as I got older. I think I was just looking for someone that would not leave me. I would stay with folks for too long or lower my expectations. I didn't have that steady father figure to guide me and give me that unconditional male love at home. It took a while before I learned what it was that made me happy.

A few months before my wedding, my mom called to tell me that she had run into my father in Miami. He wanted my phone number and she gave it to him. In my mind, I decided that if he called I would talk to him but I didn't expect him to call me. He called that same day. He flew up for my wedding and since then, we have stayed in contact. I have reconnected with my family in Trinidad.

His wife has embraced me and my family into her home. My father is so happy to see me and the boys. My brothers and my Little sister have grown up always knowing they had a sister. Deep down, my Dad never really left me.

When I watch him with his children, I can clearly see that he is a great father. He is stern yet kind. Loving and Playful. They are a well adjusted family. No matter how much fatherhood scared him when my mother told him she was pregnant...he ended up doing a great job with his own children. He just wasn't ready at the time of my birth.

We have lost so many years. I get overwhelmed sometimes when I think about it. I would love to say all of this to him. I want him to know that I am no longer angry. That I do know he loves me and that he always has. I know he is sorry for the time we can't regain. I know he wishes things had happened differently. I can see it all when he looks at me and tells me how proud he is of me.

Like I said, I heal a little bit more everytime I see him. I am going to keep moving forward and continue to embrace whatever time we have left.

All of these years have passed and at 37, it's nice to discover that the father I thought didn't want me.....has never given up on me. He has loved me for my entire life. Just from a distance. He was there to meet my future husband and make sure he was a good guy. He was ready to argue with my mother to walk me down the aisle. He was there for the birth of both of his grandsons and I now know that he will always be there for me. As he said to me tonight on the phone...he can't change the past but he can share my future.

Love you Dad.

Back from the brink

Thanks in advance for all of the prayers and emails.

I got to Brooklyn on Wednesday night. My mom was extremely anxious about the surgery. My brother and I proceeded to do what all Trini's do when faced with a difficult situation....crack jokes.

The next morning, we got to the hospital at 6am. My mom went in to prep for the surgery and was under by about 8:30am. We sat around and waited.

Basically there would be one of two outcomes. My mom's mass was the size of a basketball and growing. If it turned out to be cancerous, she would probably not have more than a few months to live. If it was benign, they would give her a hysterectomy and she would be fine.

Finally, at 1:30pm, the doctor comes out and tells us that they removed the mass and it was NOT cancerous. My brother and I hugged and cried. Until, you are placed in that situation, you really just don't know how scary it is. It would have been either sure death or life. Thank God for life.

Mom is still at the hospital. She will be released today and will recuperate at my grandmother's house.

It was something to spend three nights sleeping on a chair next to her at the hospital. My mom, who had always been this formidable woman, had become this fragile creature. She held my hands and cried. She called to me at night to help her get to the bathroom. She asked me to brush her hair and to put some lipstick on her before her visitors arrived. I rubbed her shoulders. I got her ginger ale and tea. I became her caregiver.

When I left yesterday, she thanked me for being a good child and for being there. I reminded her that she was a good mother. Good mothers deserve their children's care when they are in a time of need. They earned it by washing our butts, feeding us, finding a way when daddy's left, etc.... She did her part, and I told her it was our turn to do ours.

So my mom will be fine. We will be fine. Like I said, we are back from the brink. AMEN.

Happy Monday.

Accepting all prayers

I am headed to Brooklyn for my mother's surgery tomorrow am. Will be back on Sunday.
Keep the prayers coming.

Have a great weekend Blog Fam. I will update when I get back.

An Ode to The King

"So tonight, gotta leave that 9 to 5 up on the shelf, and just enjoy yourself. C'mon groove, let the madness in the music get to you. Life ain't so bad at all.....when you're living Off the Wall."

I want to talk about the King. Mr. Michael Jackson. The Old Mike. The Mike that was my hero.
The very first record I ever owned...you know, the one that I played on my Holly Hobbie record player....was "Ben". A song sung by Michael Jackson.

My favorite cartoon was "The Jackson Five". I loved me some Michael Jackson. I never missed that cartoon with the pet snakes and the pet rats. I would practice my Jackson Five spins all around the house.

And when this album came out. Our love was solidified. This album is a MONSTER. You have your Thriller fans (and I love Thriller too) but this one was and still is the TRUTH.


1. Don't Stop 'Till You Get Enough
2. Rock With You
3. Working Day And Night
4. Get On The Floor
5. Off The Wall
6. Girlfriend
7. She's Out Of My Life
8. I Can't Help It
9. It's The Falling In Love
10. Burn This Disco Out

My favorite love song by Michael....Number 8...I Can't Help It. This song is absolute perfection.
Michael's falsetto voice, the way he sings it like he is hopelessly falling in love....amazing.

And then there are the words....

Looking In My Mirror
Took Me By Surprise
I Can't Help But See You
Running Often Through My Mind

Helpless Like A Baby
Sensual Disguise
I Can't Help But Love You
It's Getting Better All The Time

I Can't Help It If I Wanted To
I Wouldn't Help It Even If I Could
I Can't Help It If I Wanted To
I Wouldn't Help It, No
I mean...this is what falling in love feels like in song. Beautiful.

And my all time favorite MJ song...Off The Wall. From the minute I hear it, I have to dance. Oh, and sing at the top of my lungs. One time, while this song was playing in my car (and I was singing it at the top of my lungs at a red light) I looked over and saw five cars full of people staring at me. I proceeded to sing even louder. (and note, I am no singindiva!).

So it hurts me to know that Mike has turned into a nutcase. I blame his parents. But to me, he is still the King.

And today, I am living Off The Wall....

Michael Jackson- Off the Wall; Live in Yokohama 1987

By Popular Demand

I added a picture.

I just don't get it?

I have some random thoughts swirling through my mind so bear with me. I mean, damn, it's Monday anyway.....

1. Rape. I just don't get it. In Philadelphia last night, a woman answered a knock at her door only to face an attacker and get brutally raped. She lived, but is still under heavy sedation at the hospital. WTF! I just don't get it. Yes, I know rape is a power/control crime. I am sure the dude had some personal issues from his childhood....another product of poor parenting skills. BUT DAMN....why take that sh*t out on someone that doesn't deserve your anger and hatred? I hate waking up to stories like this on the news.

2. Child Abusers. I just don't get it. This weekend, I played with my two sons. We rolled around on the couch, we played outside with the hose, we drew crazy pictures with super large crayons, we ate outside and had a mini picnic. When I finally gave them baths and put them to bed. We said prayers and had lots of kisses. When I came upstairs to check on them and they had those angelic looks on their faces.....all I could think of was "WHY DO PEOPLE DO THINGS TO HURT CHILDREN?" I just don't get it. I can only do what I can to protect my kids....but if anyone ever did anything to hurt them....I would flip into the "BTG" (Brooklyn/Trinidad Gangsta) with the quickness. Hell hath no fury like a woman whose children have been harmed. Sick Bastards.

3. Crackheads. I just don't get it. All our lives we hear "Don't do Drugs". And I can still see where folks get interested in trying a lil something. I ain't hating. BUT WHY CRACK? I mean, haven't we all seen crackheads? Haven't you watched Dave Chappelle when he does the crack guy? Bobby and Whitney on tv? Knowing the end results of crack...why do people still take this drug? What makes someone look at a crackhead and then later on say..."I wanna try that". Ig'nant asses.

4. The Return of Leggings. I just don't get it. Now when leggings were in style, I wore the hell out of them. They were comfortable. They stretched with you. However, they (and the stirrup pant) were one of the ugliest fashion items to ever emerge. 90% of the folks wearing leggings, HAVE NO DAMN BUSINESS WEARING THEM. Look around ladies....you are probably one of the 90%. Yes, they can be cute if worn right and if you are the right size. For the rest of us.....do not even attempt that mess. Not all fads are for all people. Let this one go.

5. Kiss Ass Co-Workers. I just don't get it. You are annoying, insincere and sneaky. No one likes you. Not even the boss that you snitch and kiss up to. They only humor you because you stroke their egos and rat out your coworkers, thus keeping them in the loop of the office politics. Give it a rest. Get ahead on your merit. Stop ass kissing.....phony ass muthasuckers.

Happy Monday...

Tasty Thursday

Hey world.

I am feeling better today. Thanks to everyone for the love and support. I do appreciate all the prayers and well wishes. I will transfer all of them to my mom!!!!

On Saturday, I will be celebrating 6 years of marriage. SIX FREAKIN' YEARS!!!!!!! Unbelievable.

Now I will tell you all that I have a nice home, two beautiful children and a good husband. I know that I am blessed beyond belief. BUT....marriage is not for the faint of heart. An African (thanks for the new word blog fam) will test every last nerve that you have.

It takes major work. If the two people involved aren't committed, it won't work. I can honestly say that we had one year where I really was ready to just walk away. I was tired of giving of myself and getting nothing in return. I am sure he was feeling the same way. We had hit a crossroads, a make it or break it point. I am sure that all couples get there. It takes commitment to the marriage to work through the issues. To see the bigger picture...family, children, investments, etc.

It's so much easier to just say "F*ck it" and walk away. The true strength is to find a way to work problems out.

Many people think the problems stem from infidelity....the real issues are the day to day issues. Money, the kids, time, respect, kindness. Hell, I could probably handle cheating. It's the lack of effort that gets on my nerves.

I think when folks get married they stop treating each other like they did when they were dating. That's fine. But every once in a while....make an effort for your partner. Suprise them Remind them you do love them....for no reason.

My hubby doesn't read this blog. He probably doesn't know what a Blog is unless it involves sports or porn. LOL

I can't say he's perfect. I know I'm not. But I can say Happy Anniversary.