Flashback Friday

It's old school day! Just try to remember how you used to feel whenever you heard this song or how it used to rock your school dances. It's still that fly.



"Being with you is a top priority...ain't no need to question the authority"

Happy Friday...........

The Best Birthday Gift I Ever Received

It was not a present, a party or anything fantastic. It was these words, written on a piece of paper and left in my car.


Words. I have always been the master of my words. Plucking thoughts seemingly out of midair and transforming them into coherence and beauty.

Because of you, I am sitting here….grasping at words and reaching for sentences. My words have fled. They are floating above my head, visible but slightly out of reach. The thought of you, pushing them out of my head. Jealous of the space the words occupied, your presence has commanded the spotlight in my mind.

I am unable to shake you from my thoughts. Every word whispered softly in my ear, every warm breath on my stomach, every gentle touch exchanged as we lay listening to each other's heartbeat….they all render me speechless.

I concede defeat. I am awed by your mastery as you easily uncovered every one of my unspoken needs until they were all satisfied. Once strong, I fall weak. Once ambivalent, I now feel the loss as we separate.

No words are left, they fail me, just when I have so much to say. All that remains is the thought of you and one question.

Will I linger in your mind as you do in mine?

Jusqu'à ce que je rassemblement encore, soin de prise de ma mémoire car je prendrai soin à vous.

Don't ever wonder.

Do people still count and then talk about the number of people they have "been" with? WHY? How is that conversation? Unless the number is zero, does it really matter?

If one more person is in the ladies room ON THEIR DAMN CELLPHONE.....whew, I tell ya.
Who do you need to talk to right at that moment? Nasty azzes.

Does everyone have a "conference room nazi" at their job? You know, the individual that keeps the schedule for the conference room. The one that bangs on the door as soon as your time is up?

What is the purpose of making us wear pantyhose in the summer? It's HOT. Will I do a better job in them? Useless.

Ladies, how come we always love a haircut until about two weeks after we get it? Then we start missing our OLD hair.

Why do sons always want to show you their "parts"? Yes, I know.....it's impressive and so cool....now put it away. LOL

People that hate their jobs with a passion.....that's cool....just don't share that with me as I am about to order your product or eat at your restaurant.

What the heck is Ah B.ay B.ay?


Is this remix of Maxwell and Loose Ends not the smoothest?

My son, moon and stars

Tali got accepted to his school!!!! It's a great day. They want him to come in and meet his teacher and take a few assessments on Monday (yes, my birthday). That's okay though. I couldn't ask for a better birthday gift than getting him enrolled in the only Blue Ribbon Public School in the City (and it's FREE!!!!!).

The youngest Tali has been going through some emotions lately. He's 2 and he's entitled. If he weren't so funny, I would have a breakdown. My mom was here on Saturday and we were sitting outside with the boys. He was engrossed with my neighbor's cat. He was more than engrossed, he was stalking him. The cat looked like he wasn't having it. So whenever he got close.....the cat started hissing. My mom yelled out "Tali, don't touch that cat." He waved his little finger at us and said "I Be Right Back. I WANNA TOUCH A CAT!".....So I said, " Son....stay away from that cat." "MOMMY, I WANNA TOUCH A CAT" "No." "I WANNA TOUCH A CAT!"
"Tali....don't do it." "**waves finger** I WAAAAAANNNNNNNAAAA TOUCH A CAT, I BE RIIIGHT BACK".

So finally he touches the cat and gets scratched. Does he cry? No, he tries to punch the cat. Whew. Can we have a group prayer for the Taurus child? (Thanks for cursing me Slish). That boy is gonna require a lot of work.

The oldest is getting so big I can't even fathom where the time is flying. He was a baby last week, now he's off to Kindergarten in September. I will be doing school shopping and everything. It feels surreal. You know, I keep telling you guys that I have these moments when I have to shake my head like....WOW, I am someone's mother.
It's amazing.

Here's a picture of my Trini boys at Philly carnival last week.....



If that doesn't make you smile.....I don't know what does. Have a great day.

Age ain't nothing but a number

My 38th birthday is exactly one week from today. 38. Doesn't it sound great? Yes, I could be all woe is me.........BUT I FEEL GREAT.

I am in good shape and I think I look pretty good for an old lady too. Don't believe me? Here is a picture of me and my NEW Soror (she's fresh out of college) at last month's walkathon. It is about 7am and I have not a stitch of makeup on. Not that bad right?



Okay...if it IS bad, tell your girl, 1969 so I can take that mess down immediately! LMAO

I don't know why people are afraid to say how old they are. Everyone has to age. Everyone goes through changes. We slow down, gain some weight, get a few wrinkles....hell, with age comes wisdom though. You have lived. You have stories and experiences. You are now someone with something to talk about.

I enjoy getting older. I love knowing that I have made it another year. I have completed another tough one, but I am still standing. I refuse to look at it as anything but LIVING.

Perhaps this week, I will stroll down memory lane and share a few stories about me back in the day. You know, when I was a young buck. I may even have a few photos.

Stay tuned, true believers....stay tuned.

That may be all I need...

But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you
-Sunday Morning, Maroon 5

My life is hectic. Sometimes, it's downright crazy. When you are always racing to the next appointment or chasing a deadline, you grow an earnest appreciation for all things simple.

Simplicity.....breaking things down to it's basic compounds. The basics.

-I'm healthy
-I have a wonderful family
-I have a job
-I have food
-I have a roof over my head

We bring so much drama into our lives. Unnecessary drama. When you stop and think about the basics...you have to recognize that you probably have more than 80% of the world could ever dream of. People are dying to live MY Drama. It's really not that serious, now is it?

Enjoy your day and your weekend. I mean really enjoy it. Wake up knowing there is no gun to your head,, you can drink your Starbucks coffee and contemplate...."Hmmm, what do I feel like eating today?" and then...go out and get it. You can throw on your $100 sneakers and your designer clothes, start your car engine and just drive. You can drive anywhere you want to. You can roll your window down and shout outside to anyone and say anything. You can choose. You have options.

Today, remember the basics that you are blessed with each and every day. You know, the things you take for granted. Enjoy the simple things. Peace.

And last but not least....Brooklyn Diva

It's been a good week. Thanks to my internet peeps for asking such great questions and helping me in my "Get to Know 1969" project.

The last blogger is my buddy BKDiva. BK is one of those cool people you feel like you already know. She is down to earth, funny, warm and caring. She is a single mom (To two highly talented children), working woman and a fitness trainer. I mean really.....after all that, you already know I look up to her. She has me on track to run my first 5k and she makes me laugh everyday. Here are her questions....


1. If you had to judge the greatest lyricist contest in the matches as listed.. who would you choose and why
Pac vs. Biggie, Nas vs. Jay-Z, Ice Cube vs. Easy E., Eminem vs. 50 Cent

I would have to roll with Biggie. I don't think he is a better lyricist than Pac....I just love Biggie :) He is the essence of Brooklyn.

Nas is a far better lyricist than Jay.... but Jay brings the hits. Hmmmm...I will give it to Nas but I am a Jay-Z fan.

Ice Cube all the way.

Eminem....absolutely. Fisty is so whack.

2. We know you dated a celebrity before you became the Infamous Mrs. 1969. If you were single and could date again.. which celebrity would it be and why? if none, why not?

Now you guys know that Maxwell is my 2nd baby daddy. LOL
Seriously, it would have to be because I liked that person as a man, not because of the fame. That road is not easy. When I stared dating THAT individual, I met him at a fund raiser for work and we went out a few times. When he started to pull that ....I'm famous crap....I rolled out. I am not a "play the background" type of woman....so I need someone that can deal with me being me and not fitting into a role. Kim. Por.ter, I am NOT.

3. You have the opportunity to go to Paris on a girls getaway/shoe shopping trip and you can only take 5 other female bloggers with you.. who would you take and why?

Just five? So unfair....we all need a trip and some shoes. I have to take Roycee, Erica B, Ms. Lee, you BK and...............everyone else can go too.....shhhh...just sneak on the plane!

4. It's Labor Day weekend.. it's you, Fresh, Slish, Ms. Lee, Me, & Roycee.. what is the 1st thing you take us to do as you show us Labor Day Trini Style?

In Brooklyn? Well, we have to go to a mas camp for the weeks leading up to labor day to get our costumes, drink and get into the Carnival spirit. Then we have to wake up early on Carnival day, eat a nice Trini breakfast and hit the Parkway. Throughout the day, we have to drink lots of alcohol (Trinidad Rum is best) (with required glasses of water in between), wine and jump up on total strangers, make sure Fresh and Slishy don't get into too much trouble....collapse on the sidewalk and eat another plate of food before we roll home.

5. As a native trini who is now americanized, what differences/similarities do you see in the cultures.. what would you keep in raising your kids?

Trinidad was originally a British Colony so you will find that the way of life in Trinidad is a little more proper. Yes, we have carnival and dance in the streets half naked but other than partying.....we are pretty proper. Trinidadians are big on having decorum, respecting elders, knowing your place and all around "properness". I am not as strict with my children as my parents were with me (I used to get beatings that would probably have someone arrested today) but I do have high expectations for them regarding how they conduct themselves, education, etc. Those things I take from my upbringing. Trinis also know how to have fun and families are very close. American youths have WAY more freedom. They can say things to their parents, I would never dream of saying. When I was younger, I thought that was a good thing.....now, I don't. LOL I try to borrow the best of both cultures.

bonus question: you can only choose one genre to listen to for the remainder of the year.. what would it be.. dancehall, rockers, soca/calypso, r&b or hip hop

ROCKERS ALL DAY.

The Daughter of a Black Man wants to know.....

There's no secret that I LOVE ME SOME ROYCEE. This beautiful, intelligent sister is so deep. When you read her blog, you want to get to know her in person. She's witty, spunky, spiritual and wise beyond her years. She dresses her behind off, loves to read and travel and will still roll through the streets with you and have your back. Many of you get to enjoy her blog....I get to call her my sister for life....SKEE WEE, SOROR. Here are her questions.....Damn....she knows me too well...LOL



You’ve just passed away and learned that God is still on the fence about whether or not you will chill with Him for all of eternity or take the red elevator all the way down to the ground floor (you feel me?). Out of the kindness of His heart, God decides to give you one last chance to persuade Him and allows you 3 minutes to convince Him why He should let you into the pearly gates…what is your argument?

God...I know I have been far from perfect and for this I ask Your forgiveness. Temptations and distractions sidetracked me many times when I was feeling weak or unsure of myself but I always came back to You or sought You out when I knew I was slipping. I always recognized that I would only get this far with You. Even if you choose not to grant me a chance, please know that I never let my shortcomings affect my personal love of You and my faith in You has never wavered. I raised two children to love You and put You first in their lives and I hope for that act, You will grant me access to Your Kingdom.


Tali 1 has left for his freshman year of college and right before his first official break he asks if he can bring his new girlfriend home with him for the week (7 days)…you and Mr. Sixty are reluctant but later agree…and when the day comes you hear his key in the door around the time they are scheduled to arrive…in walks your oldest child, followed closely by his WHITE girlfriend…OHMY, what does Mrs. Sixty do?

I really do believe that Tali 1 would tell me that he was bringing a White young lady home way before she hit the door. If you knew him, you would know that Tali 1 shares EVERYTHING with me. LOL

However, I will go along with your little question....Heffa. :)

I would hide my initial shock and then I would treat her like any other girl that Tali would bring home. I would want to know all about her. When it comes to my sons and the future woman in their lives, I just want to make sure she has a good head on her shoulders, conducts herself like a lady and that she can stand up for herself, keep them in line but still treat them with respect and love. She also has to be able to compliment their personality and have goals. If she doesn't meet THAT criteria, he and I will have a talk when she leaves. My list for a good woman encompasses her character more than her color. Now you need to ask how Mr. 1969 would act.....that's a better question.

You’ve made it to heaven after a very long and full life and Mr. Sixty (who passed a year before you) and “Mr. SeeYouNextLifeTime” are both there waiting to greet you...you have to choose who you spend eternity with and you can only choose one, who do you choose?

Roycee...you know me so well. I struggle with this question all the time internally. Of course, it's a question I probably will face one day but I am confident that God will work this out for me. I can only guess at what will await me in Heaven. Somehow, I dont think it will be ex-boyfriend vs, husband drama. The Big Guy has bigger things in store for me.

I can't choose one cause I don't really know. *sigh* I really don't know.


Alpha Kappa Alpha and Delta Sigma Theta were never founded…but you still have to choose---Sigma Gamma Rho or Zeta Phi Beta? Whatchugonedo Cletus?!?!?

You know, both of these organizations are great ones. Powerful sisters doing powerful things. However....I would have to say that I know more Zeta's and my cousin is a Zeta....so I might have to go to the Blue and White. However, the SGRho's that I do know are cool as heck....shouts out to my girl Jameil1922!

You’ve just learned that you won $50 million dollars but you have to spend it within 24 hours, what do you spend it on (and can I borrow about $500K)?
Easy....split the remaining $49,500,000 into two trust funds for my children and spend the remaining 23 hours enjoying my entire family's company once we landed my charter flight in Trinidad.

Erica B.'s got questions.....

Erica B is one of those women that make fabulosity look simple. She really can do it all. She is a busy mother of three, a wonderful wife, she can cook her behind off (ask her about her mac and cheese recipe) and she knits and sews. I mean really....she can sew ANYTHING. Go check out her blog if you want proof. She does it ALL and never has a hair out of place. She is one of my style idols and a really good friend.


1. How do you manage to make being a "supermom" look so flawless? Tell us your secrets to success.

I can't believe the Queen of flawless is asking me this question..LOL

I am an event planner at heart. When I started in Hotels, I did all of the high end catering events. $100K and up weddings, Galas, etc. I am used to having to stay organized under pressure. I think I am just used to having a lot on my plate and juggling. The key for me is to have a mental schedule of what I need to get done. I have also learned that some things are NOT a priority. They come off the schedule.
I do admit that the things that tend to get neglected are usually related to my needs. I need a pedicure as we speak! LOL However, I started working out in the morning and I am holding on to that. That is my me time. I am trying to get better at doing more things for me. The key is to learn to say NO to other committments. I still struggle with this....sigh.

2. Would you ever consider leaving the corporate world to become a stay at home mom?

First of all....stay at home mothers are the bomb. They have the hardest jobs in the world.

If I was financially comfortable, I would go back to culinary school and eventually start my own catering business. Absolutely.

However, I enjoy working so much. When I was at home on maternity leave...I was dying to go back to work. I was stir crazy in the house. I enjoy what I do and I enjoy the financial freedom that working gives our family but maybe down the road....?

3. Have you ever contemplated entrepreneurialism, such as event planning or starting a catering business? You'd be fabulous at that.

Erica...I think about this all the time. I would open a catering business. I am working on it!!!

4. You always seem to take everything in stride. Tell us about a situation that has made 1969 lose her cool composure.

Oh wow. I do tend to keep my composure. I really hate women making scenes in public. My mother didn't raise me that way :)

However, I lose my cool all the time. Ask Mr. 1969. He likes to refer to me as Boughetto.....you know Bougie and Ghetto? Two great tastes that work great together?
I am one of those mild mannered looking women that will snap out and punch you in your grill. I have evolved from my days of flipping out on people. I now shut em down like Claire Huxtable. You know, when you dis them with a cutting remark and they don't realize how bad you told them off until you walk away? LOL

But I have been in my share of fights, arguments, tire slashing, etc.....Trust me!


5. Anymore babies? What about a "mini 1969"?

Although the thought of a mini 1969 is attractive (is the world even ready???)....THE BABY MAKING FACTORY IS OFFICIALLY CLOSED (insert Awwwwwwww's right here). Had I started earlier, I would have had another one. At 38 (in July)....we decided that Tali 2 would be the last one. Now I have to see what kind of daughter in laws I get :)

Always Funky Fresh wants to know!

Fresh is my internet BFF. He really is. That man makes me laugh all day long. I think we share the same warped sense of humor and despite the fact that he went to the 2nd best high school in Brooklyn behind my High School :) he is still cool with me. If you frequent his blog, then you already know that he is a great Father and husband, intelligent as hell but one foot stays in the ghetto! You can tell from these bootleg azz questions...

You and Mr. 1969 are out to dinner at a nice cozy, quaint romantic spot when you notice your girl's husband/boyfriend from across the restaurant enjoying dinner with a woman who is NOT your girl? What do you do? Do you blow up his spot on the way to restroom? Pull out the Blackberry and hit your girl? Mind your business?

I would definitely stop by the table and say "hello" on my way out. I would not blow up his spot in the restaurant, but I would want him to KNOW he was seen. And I would give him the eye (the, "I see you KNEEGROW, you ain't slick" eye). Unless it was one of my two best friends....I would not say anything. I try and stay out of grown folks business for real.

You're stranded on an island with the late great Notorious B.I.G and Big Pun (RIP to both). There's obviously no food left. In order to get off the island, you have to f**k one of them? Which one will it be and why?

Damn....you ain't lying...there would be NO food. I am rolling with Notorious. 1) He's Jamaican...nuff said, 2) he's from Brooklyn so we have a lot in common and 3) he had Charlie Baltimore, Lil Kim and Faith fighting over him so he must have been doing something right. Besides, "he's got enough to feed the needy!"

And for the record, I am still traumatized by Big Pun riding that scooter in that one video, wheezing through all of the verses.

Seems like you and the Mister have a pretty good thing going. We know it isn't always gravy but what's one thing you guys do to keep it going, especially since you claim that romance is dead?

Did I mention that romance is DEAD? LMAO. Seriously, we try and find quiet time for ourselves when we can but it is hard with the Taliban's under your roof. Seek and Destroy! We used to have a date night every Friday that fell to the wayside when Tali 2 came along. We did escape to Tobago during vacation for a nice day to ourselves. But day in and day out it's hard. We need to do better.

What is hard is that we have different views of what romance is. I am trying to get him to talk to me while rubbing my feet as I sip a nice glass of wine. He is trying to watch Sportscenter while his naked stiletto wearing wife brings him a beer and the remote. See the problem? :)

There seems to be a trend with celebrities (Madonna, Jolie) going to Africa to adopt babies. I even saw a special on 20/20 or something about it recently. Do you think white people can raise black children?

I think it is more important for a child to be loved than anything else. If anyone is so unselfish that they are willing to give their time, love and home to raise someone else's baby....why does color matter? I do agree that no one will raise a black child like black parents but hell, we have black parents that aren't instilling a sense of pride in their kids right now. A loving parent is a loving parent. You can learn the rest. And trust, I don't know too many black folks going to Africa to adopt children. It may be a fad but if the kids benefit....I can't hate.


Vanessa Williams offers you $500,000 to sleep with Mr. 1969 for one night. Do you allow it? How about $1 million.......

I take cash, credit cards, money orders and the bank opens at 8:30am. For real. What's her number? I can drop him off......

Ms. Lee asks the Questions....

So this week, I am answering questions. Every day I will answer five questions from one of my favorite bloggers. Today's five come from Ms. Lee. Ms. Lee is one dynamic and talented sister. We have a lot in common and I can't wait to meet her in person. I hope you check out her blog.

However, she sure is nosy.....here are her questions...

1. The old love of your life shows up on your doorstep. Mr. 1969 says, I know he'll make you happier than I do. So I'll go (and leave T's 1 & 2 with you), if that's what you want. What do you do?

I would never leave Mr. 1969. No matter how much I may still love an old love...he would be just that...an OLD LOVE. Mr. 1969 and I made a committment to each other and the kids. I would never break up our home, no matter how tempting. Besides, Mama Sixtynine always says that "The devil you know is better than the devil you don't know".....Mr. 1969 is all trained, at this stage, I am not trying to break in a new player!

2. You have to give up something you absolutely love for 90 days. What do you give up?

Hmmm....what do I love? TV. Giving up TV for 90 days would be HARD. No Lost? No Heroes? Whew....

3. What is the biggest mistake you've ever made?

Definitely, not understanding the value of money and credit from an early age. I could have owned so much by now if I hadn't squandered so much on shopping, trips, meals, etc. I wish I had that guidance earlier on.

4. You're psychic and know you're going to be stuck on a deserted island. Who are you stuck with? And what three things must you have with you?

I would probably be stuck with my Best Friend. We would laugh for the rest of our lives. As long as we had music, food and some good books.....we would be straight.

5. As a non-Greek, I am unaware of the goings on when pledging (barring School Daze and Stomp the Yard, LOL). So I am curious. Were you hazed? If so, did you ever feel the need to seek revenge? Have you ever met an AKA you didn't like?

For the record, AKA is a non-hazing organization. 1969 pledged 17 years ago. I had MANY trials and tribulations along the way. Pleadging in not an easy process but you are only there by choice. You can choose not be be there at any time. I wouldn't trade that process and experience for anything. I learned more about myself, my strength and my will than I could have ever imagined. I also bonded with my line sisters for life and learned so much about the organization. Anything that was done to me was never done through hate or jealousy. I was never injured or beaten for the hell of it. There was a purpose behind everything...So I never felt the need to seek revenge. I think that many incidents of outright hazing that you hear about or read about happen when you have members that did not go through a tight pledging process...and then they turn around and try to pledge someone else. I have seen all of the movies and NONE are accurate. Don't believe everything you see. Big Sister Almighty was not letting Half Pint sleep with my man :)

And AKA is like anything, there are some you love, some you could live without, some you just don't like. It's like a family. As long as we are able to put petty things aside when we have a job to get done....that's what it's all about. Helping others.
In addition, if there is someone you don't really gel with, we try to be sisterly about it and don't discuss it outside of the family.

You Must LEARN..............

And as a follow up to the Romance is Dead post....I give you AMADEO's response. Read it and learn young bucks.

Many are called but few are chosen....

I think the most powerful person in a family is the Father. The Father controls the destiny of his family and especially his children. Mothers are nurturers and they teach you how to love. Fathers shape the person you become. When a son has a father he can respect, he learns to be a man. He learns responsibilty, strength, pride and how to carry himself.



When a woman has a father, she learns how a man is supposed to act. She sees how a man treats a woman with respect, handles his responsibilities, protects his family, works hard, has fun and loves them unconditionally.

When the father is gone.....the kids have to fend for themselves. The woman is lost. The father is the key to our families. You all know that I am struggling to strengthen my bonds with my Father. My mother did a fantastic job, but there is no substitute for a strong black man running your house and teaching you the lessons you need to learn.

Today, I want to wish all of the Dad's out there a very Happy Father's Day. Thank you for everything that you do to make our kids better.

And to Mr. 1969, who is probably the best example of a Father that I know.....thanks for holding us down through my business trips, long hours and sorority meetings. You take care of your sons (and me)and smile doing it. You don't complain and act like parenting is a job. It comes naturally. If my boys grow up to be half the man you are, they'll be blessed. I love you man.

Romance Is Dead

It is my humble opinion that ROMANCE IS DEAD.

The art of courting, dating, thinking outside of the box is GONE. Heck, even my own husband who started out good (that's probably how he reeled me in) has fallen by the wayside.

And romance is not about expensive gifts.....it's about small gestures. Paying attention to someone's likes and dislikes. Figuring out what it is that makes them smile. Knowing what will brighten their spirits. So many people talk about romance but have no clue.

It's about spoiling someone else, making them feel special, doing something you know they will like but is totally unexpected.

And Romance is not automatically linked to f*cking. Yeah....I said it. Sometimes it's sexy to do things without....gasp....the expectation of getting some in return.
What is your motivation? Is it "what's in it for me?" or do you really want to make that person happy?

I once had someone very romantic in my life. This man had it down. I couldn't begin to talk about the things he would do. More than anything, he listened to me. Even when I wasn't telling the whole story. He read between the lines. He knew me. He knew what I needed before I could even say it.

One time I visited him in NY and we had such a great weekend. He knew I was homesick and as he started driving me back to the train station in Manhattan....I was sitting there talking about how much I hated being in DC, away from home. How I missed him, my family, etc....when I looked up, we were driving to the Holland tunnel. "Where are we going?" "I'm driving you back to DC and spending the night." "You didn't pack any clothes? You have to work tomorrow." "I'll call out sick" "Are you crazy?" "You need me." **sigh**

Put some thought into it people. Think outside the flowers and candy box.

However, there is a fine line between romance and freakiness. Many of you are making that Scooby Doo noise....RuHRoh? Buying someone a thong is not romance, emailing him pictures of your naked azz is not romance. There is a time and place for the freak.
But you have to romance someone and know where it's headed before you unleash the freak. RATION THE FREAK(c) 1969.....don't show all of your tricks on the first go around. Leave a little for down the road. If you are too eager to show WHAT YOU GOT (Bonus points for Nas and Jay in the same post)or talk about it too much....it starts to lose it's shine very quickly.

When I hear some of the stories out there....I am forced to wonder....What happened to romance? Am I just old? Where are the people that say it through actions and not email?

**pouring out the pink champale**

We Don't Need No Education!

The Philadelphia School system is horrible. I have two young black men that I am trying to raise to take over the world and I live in a city with a substandard school system.

We moved here and I didn't really think about the school system. We moved because we both had career opportunities. When we had our first son, I went into panic mode.
In Brooklyn, my family stressed education above anything else. I went to great schools (shouts out to BTHS and NYU) and worked hard. That was my ticket out of struggling. To be faced with bad educational options with a baby.....was not a good thing.

I started researching schools from the minute he could walk. This is the land of private school....Friend.s S.elect, Ha.verford Boys, Wal.dron Mercy.....there are phenomal private schools in this city....I just REFUSE to pay $18,000 for Kindergarten when I also have another child in daycare.

I started to investigate the Public School system. There had to be one school that I could find for my son. After pouring through the State Test Scores, I kept noticing one school repeatedly came in first. This school was number one in math and reading for the last three years. It's the only Blue Ribbon Public School in Philadelphia.

I started hunting.....why is this school in my neighborhood? How come I've never heard of it? Turns out, it is a small, very select Charter School. While many Charters have teachers that aren't accredited or the schools lose funding.....this school is expanding, is receiving lots of grant money and the teachers are top notch educators. And....The school is run by a SISTER.....

So last night was Tali 1's interview. I was so proud of him. I gave him the "act right or die" speech all morning so he was on his best behavior. He really is the smartest kid alive. I was so proud of him. Not just for answering all of their questions, but for BEHAVING like he had some home training :)

Now we just have to wait to hear if he made it.

Writer's Block *sigh*

So after my last few posts....I need a break from sharing all of my personal information....let the mindless banter commence!

I saw this Macy Gray video for "Finally Made Me.Happy". Answer me this, why would you duet with someone that can sing CIRCLES around your behind? Macy Gray and Natalie Cole? What genius thought that was a good idea? NOT GOOD.

How is it that TJ Maxx can sell a Michael Kors dress that I saw at Macy's for $145 for $39.00. I swear....I am a believer in shopping around cause had I bought that at original price, I would have been HOT. (Uh and I did buy it for $39)

Crusty heels. Ladies and gentlemen....get a pedicure. It's that simple.

The picture of Pari.s crying in the squad car? Priceless.

Why was I (a grown azz woman of 37, almost 38, wife and mother of two) up till 11pm last night watching Fade to Black and rapping all the songs word for word? Hov-A, Hov-A....

Hells Kitchen....the crying, fainting dude needs to go home now!

Tali 2 told his daddy "Cut it out Old Man". ROTFLMAO!!!!!

Tali 1 has his final interview with the school we really want him to go to in the Fall. Wish us luck.

You ever just know that you are destined to be friends with someone from day one?

MEN at the pool or beach with back hair is NOT cute. If we have to wax, so do you. Ole bigfoot, sasquatch looking.......

I am adventurous with trying new things.....I don't get people who just hate things but have never tried them.

I need to hit the beach soon.....

Guess Who's Coming To Brunch?

So as we start down the road to dating, things are heating up. 1969 is starting to like the future Mr. 1969 and vice versa....he invites me to spend Easter weekend at his house and to meet his mama and family.

So we get up there, things are going smoothly. Easter Sunday, the two of us head off to church. His mom had gone to sunrise service so she could stay home and cook. Of course, we both looked extra sharp when we left and we enjoyed a great service. (Two years later, we would be married in this same church).

So when we get back home, I can smell the Easter ham and all of the cousins are over.
I walk in and start chit chatting with the cousins. Just as they were getting up to leave....Mr. 1969's mom comes in the room. "Lawd....I don't know what to do? I wasn't really thinking and she has a gift for me...."

So Mr. 1969 asks his mom what's wrong...."While you were at church, Puerto Rico called." The whole room gets quiet.

"Puerto Rico......She's here? Why is she here?.....What did you tell her?"

"I didn't know what to say. She said she was in town for the Holiday to visit friends. She had a gift for me and wanted to stop by to drop it off. I knew 1969 was here but I couldn't say no, it would have been rude. I didn't know what to say?"

Mr. 1969 starts to look nervous. All of the cousins are quiet.

Now Puerto Rico was THE GIRLFRIEND. She dated Mr. 1969 for three years, all through college. Despite him cheating on her repeatedly, she stuck it out with him until she finally started cheating. Of course, he then dumped her and said she broke his heart. A totally dysfunctional relationship very typical of college.

So he looks at me and says..."What do you want me to do?"

So of course, the gracious lady that I am...I say that I have no problems with her coming over to say hello.

All of his cousins who were leaving start laughing and saying "We ain't going NOWHERE now!!!"

So about 30 minutes later, in walks a triumphant Miss Puerto Rico. She didn't really notice me when she first came in. She was all decked out in her Easter finest. I can see how she thought it would go down. The beautiful ex-girlfriend walks back into town, shows up unexpectedly and sweeps a lonely Mr. 1969 off his feet again.....SCREEEEEECH

He walks her over to me and introduces her to his "Girlfriend, 1969". I stared her right in the eye, extended my hand and said "So nice to meet you, you're the one from College right?" :)

Her whole face looked crestfallen but she was a trooper, she sucked it all in and was very sweet. Said hello and gave the mom the gift. Of course, the food is ready so the COUSINS invite her to stay and eat. Meanwhile they are in the kitchen asking me if I'm going to beat her down. LOL

So instead of this heffa saying "No, I'm not hungry" she stays to eat with us. Then to top it off, she asks Mr. 1969 if he wants to see pictures of her sisters baby. He says sure. In every picture...Why is she in a string bikini on the beach holding the baby????? LMAO

She had her game down pat. I know if I wasn't there, it might have been on like popcorn. Mr. 1969 is so nervous through all of this. He keeps coming over to me and asking me if everything is okay. I smile and say sweetly "Of course. Are YOU okay?"
He keeps saying "Why won't she leave?" The cousins are loving every minute of watching his azz sweat and his sisters are next to me snapping on her. I swear it was like an episode of Good Times.

Eventually, she realizes that it's time to go. He asks me if he can walk her to the car....I smile sweetly and say "Of course". He walks her outside and comes back in in five minutes.

As soon as he walks in, he collapses on the chair and all of us break out laughing.
Poor Mr. 1969, he was stressed out.

Then we all start cutting up...."Can you believe she stayed? What was up with the pictures? She knows she was trying to come back like BAM....she got her damn feelings hurt."

Later that night.....Mr. 1969 and I went for ice cream and we sat by the waterfront and talked. He told me he had only dated girls that liked drama. He wasn't used to anyone that exhibited the class I had shown that day. He thought I would snap out in his mom's house and he was just dreading the whole scenario. I smiled sweetly and told him that he didn't invite her, she probably left devastated and that I was the one staying, she eventually had to leave. We hugged and the relationship probably turned a corner after the Miss Puerto Rico incident.

He didn't know his future wife was always only one second away from knocking that BEYOTCH out.

"You ain't gettin paid....you ain't knockin boots..."

"Hi Babe, what's up? You in Brooklyn?"

"Do you know a girl named Jamaica?"

"Yeah... That's the chick I broke up with right before I met you."

"Well, your ex-girlfriend just called my mother's house in Brooklyn to let me know that she is NOT your ex."

"Why would she call your mom's house?"

"I don't know. All I do know is you need to get a handle on your ho's REAL QUICK. I don't know who you think I am or what you're used to dealing with but I don't DO drama. I try to conduct myself like a lady. I don't deal with other women's men. I am used to being courted by gentlemen that want the pleasure of my company. I am NOT going to play WHO'S MAN IS HE with one of your stunts." (Yes, I said this. Mr. 1969 can quote it and often does when re-telling the story..LMAO...I swear I need my own sitcom.)

"I don't know how she got your number. I haven't seen her or talked to her in over two months."

"Well she had my MOTHER's number and she said she got it from your wallet. You had to have seen her after we met. I don't have time to get into details and I don't care about the details."

"But I haven't seen her in two months."

"Look.....you and I just met. I am sure there are lots of loose ends that you need to tie up if we are going to move forward in any way. So how about you don't call me anymore and you take some time to get your house in order...cause you are not ready for me to get your house in order for you....it won't be pretty."

"Wait...I know you're mad but for real....I broke up with that chick two months ago. I'm in PA and she's in Queens. You know I've been up here. You've talked to me almost everyday at my house. I swear to God, on my mom, I haven't seen her. I don't even carry your mom's number in my wallet. Damn....I only have your mom's number cause you left me a message on my voicemail this morning. You never gave me your mom's number before today right?"

Hmmmmmmmmm. And the chick called me from Queens today (I saw her number on the Caller ID) so she can't be at his house. How did she get the number?

Do you know we found out (due to her calling him later to say...Ha ha...I called your new girlfriend) that Jamaica had his voicemail code and had been steady checking his messages for the last two months? So when I left the message for him to call me, I was leaving for Brooklyn....she got the number that morning and called to find out who I was? These chickenheads are CRAZY! (But so devious....I admit I have to respect her gangsta...LOL)

So Mr. 1969 actually escaped the Miss Jamaica episode with me by his side and the relationship started to progress.....the next episode would be about two months later.....Miss Puerto Rico....stay tuned kids, I couldn't make this mess up if I tried.........

This is Mrs. Biggs......what the hell is going on?

So one weekend I leave Maryland and head home to NYC for the weekend.

When I walk in the door of my mom's house....she says "Thank God you're here. Someone called and said they found your wallet at Grand Central Station."

I am taken aback. "How could they find my wallet at Grand Central Station? I drove home."

So my mom says...."Check your bag? Maybe you dropped it and somebody picked it up."

I go in my bag and my wallet is in there. The whole thing sounds strange but I ignore it and start eating some good home cooked food.

The phone rings and I pick it up.....Some lady is on the line and she is telling me that she found my wallet. So she starts interrogating me...."Is your name 1969?"
"Yes" "You live in Brooklyn?" HOLD UP. RED FLAG.

So now I say to this chick..."Who are you? How did you get my number and what do you want?"

So this woman starts telling me that she is dating Mr. 1969. She is his girlfriend.
She found my number in his wallet and she wants to know what is going on.

Now she must not know 'bout me. I don't play games. I am GROWN. Even back then I was GROWN. Hell...I've been GROWN for all my life. I came out the womb GROWN.

My response was..."If you are his girlfriend, you need to call your man. Ask him the questions you are asking me. As for you calling my house....you called here unauthorized. I did not give you this number. This is my mother's house. How dare you call my mother and involve her in some concocted story. That is called Fraud and I will call the police immediately if you ever call and disrespect my mother's home ever again. I don't even LIVE here. How old are you sweetheart?"

"Uh...25"

"25? Well I am far older than you and my time for engaging in prank calling people's houses and trying to find out where my man is has passed. I have a very low tolerance for bullsh*t. What's your name?"

"Uh....Jamaica"

"Okay, well look here Jamaica, where are you from?"

"Uh....Queens"

"Well Jamaica....I am not from Queens but since I now have your number on my caller id...I will have no problem finding out exactly where you live. I suggest you forget you ever found my number cause I am not the one you would ever want to meet unexpectedly. You understand me?"

"Uh....Okay."

CLICK.

All this and I hadn't given Mr. 1969 any azz yet..................One guess who my next call was to?

to be continued

What we gonna do right here is go back.......

When I graduated from college, I moved to DC. I have lived in DC, Baltimore and Columbia, Maryland. I loved living in Maryland the most. Columbia was such a great and convenient place to live. My Target was down the street, my mall was up the street. Life was simple and good. Unfortunately, I had no social life. I couldn't get into men in that area. I was a Brooklyn girl with Trini roots.
I needed some culture. I needed to meet a cool thug nerd.

One day while I was working in my Hotel ( I was the Director of Catering at the time), I looked across the lobby and saw this cutie. He was standing across from me talking to a bunch of guys. I checked the style...the face...the whole package but kept moving. I work in a hotel, I see cute strangers all day long. I didn't really pay him any mind.

That weekend was two weeks before Christmas. We had Holiday parties jumping off left and right. I was running around making sure everything was straight. I kept seeing a whole bunch of black men in the hotel. Highly uncommon in Columbia, MD. I asked the desk agent what was going on and she replied that we had a Flag Football tournament staying with us. About ten teams. So this weekend brothers were everywhere. I still was in work mode and didn't pay most of them too much attention despite the "Hey, Shorty's" I was getting from all angles. (sidenote....Brothers...that ish is NOT attractive, okay?)

So I got a call on my radio that there were a "BUNCH of dudes eating food off the food buffets we just set up outside of the Ballroom". GREAT. So I head up to the ballroom and sure enough....there were about five football guys trying to eat food off a buffet we had just set up for this Holiday party. As I start walking up to them, I hear one of them saying "Ya'll are some trifling azzez. Stop stealing food". I look over...it's the GUY. You know....the cutie from the lobby.

So I start laughing and tell them that if they didn't pay for it....they need to step back. The cutie tries to help me and eventualy we all start laughing. I promise to save them some cheesecake after the event.

The cutie starts telling me that he and his boys are here for the football tournament but looking for something to do that night. I recommend a few DC spots and a few B'more spots. In Columbia....the only club is the Silver Shadow and that was not their style. LOL

We parted ways. The next day, I am talking to one of the banquet guys and he says "Don't look now but some man is coming up behind you". I turn around and sure enough....it's the cutie. He's all sweaty, in full football gear and it's only about 9am. He thanked me for the club recommendations and informed me that his team had already played two games for the morning. They lost one and won one. So I made small talk and walked away. He was cute....but I was so focused on work, I wasn't really thinking anything. I just thought he was being cordial.

About fifteen minutes later, I am decorating a table for a Bar Mitzvah and he walks by in some swim trunks....flexing.....headed to the pool and waves. I start cracking up with my co-workers. They are like...."Yeah. Your boy is trying to show you what he's working with..." I mean, we laughed for a good twenty minutes at how subtle dude was. LMAO.

The next morning was Sunday. I only came in to check on a Brunch and was leaving. Again, while I am standing there fixing something....someone taps my shoulder. I turn around and it's him again. So he tells me they came in fifth in the tourney. He starts making small talk. This dude is talking my ear off and I am working. I look down and notice he's holding a pen. So after he KEEPS talking.....I finally say to him (getting ALL Brooklyn, now that I think about it...) "So, Do you want my number or what cause I have to go?"

He started laughing and says..."I was about to ask you if you could have just waited a minute. Damn girl." His smooth persona faded to black and I saw something....a slight "take no mess" side. I liked it. We exchanged numbers and I left work about 30 minutes later.

As soon as I walked in my house....the phone rang. It was him....he said that before he left to head back home....he wanted to take me out for lunch. I said yes.


That is how I met Mr. 1969.

Foundations

So I was chatting with the BK Diva yesterday (she has a great new fitness blog....ya'll need to check it out). We were laughing about children's graduations and how crazy the parents dress the kids and themselves. This got me to thinking about women and what they wear. I would be doing a disservice to my readers if I did not share some Trinidadian wisdom.

Whenever I would go out somewhere nice, not in my regular jeans and tshirt, my mom would always tell me to make sure I had on some "Foundation undergarments". Now you may ask....what the hell is that? It's okay......I asked too.

My mother clarified it by saying that no one wants to "see all yuh drawers" when you are wearing your clothes. Underwear is UNDER ware. Get it? Got it? Good.

So ladies, when you are wearing white pants? The red lacy thong is a no-no. How about a pair of smooth, underwear in the color of your skin? You can wear a thong, a boyshort, whatever....just make sure it's seamless and flesh colored.

When you are wearing a tshirt.....no one wants to see the lumpy bra with all the designs on it under your clothes. Every single manufacturer makes their own version of the t-shirt bra. You will have a smooth silhouette. Nice.

If you are wearing low rise jeans.....we don't want to see your drawers every time you bend over (at least I don't, sorry guys). They make LOW RISE thongs. Come on.
Let the men guess a little....they don't need to see your polka dot raspberry thong and the tag sticking out of your azz crack.

Hell, even Ms. Knowles and Ms. Alba have a pair of Span.x sewn into all of their evening wear. Why? Not because they aren't in shape.....because they want a smooth silhouette.

Get the foundations right.....another 1969 public service announcement for my sisters. (Don't say I don't care).

Monday morning...

The graduation was so cute. Each little class sang a song or recited a poem and then they each had their names called out and they walked across the stage and got their diplomas. Since my digital camera is dead....we had to use a regular camera (oh the horror) so now I can't post a picture until I finish an entire roll of film. *sigh*
What did we do before all of this technology? Anyway, we celebrated with ice cream and he was very proud (so were we)!

As I predicted, work is heating up so this week may be hectic. I have a boat load of projects to finish. My time management skills will be put to the test but I am going to get through it and come out on top. If I can make everything happen, it will be great. I just have to get cracking and stay off these blogs :) If you see me anywhere, tell my behind to get back to work.

I am looking forward to my first day of summer hooky next month. I usually take a weekday off and head to the beach with my buddies. That way, we get to enjoy a day off with no kids. You should all try it. It's like cutting class in High School all over again.

Will post more later....back to the grindstone.

Don't you carry nothing.....

I am so looking forward to the weekend. It's been a week of revelations for me. At work, I have crossed a point where the "trial" part is gone and I am now engrossed in the "Director" role. No more kid gloves. I have to step up and make changes around here and it is not going to be comfortable. Some people are used to the old way of doing things so they will have to follow kicking and screaming or get cut. Expect some interesting posts in the near future.

Would post more....but I am heading off to watch my baby boy "graduate" from Daycare as he prepares for Kindergarten in the fall. He has to Sing "Ease on Down the Road"..in his cap and gown. Should be fun. **grabbing the Kleenex**

Have a great weekend....