It's Like That Ya'll

So I am finally recovering from my vacation. I chilled out this weekend. Got back on track. Worked out each morning, cleaned my house, did some laundry. Slid back into the routine.

Mr. 1969 and I thank all of you for your kind words and support. You guys are great.
He had resumes out immediately and has already had two phone interviews and he is hitting up a job fair in downtown Philly today. I am certain he will find something even better than he had before.

In the meantime, it's nice having him home. He's a neat freak so he has been cleaning, organizing and handling the house business. My lawn is immaculate. The hedges are trimmed. The garage is clean. I mean....if he can paint the Breakfast room and hang some curtains, the house will be straight. LOL

So does anyone ever talk to their mother and get pissed off? Is it just me?

My mom called and asked me what did we do this weekend. So I said that we won't be doing anything for a while since we just got back from the trip and Mr. 1969 just got laid off. She instantly starts going off on "People get laid off all the time" and
"what do I mean we won't be going anywhere?"..."It's just life and you have to struggle and deal with it like everyone else..."

Okay....PAUSE. Did I say anything about "Woe is me?"

Sometimes, West Indian mother's want to say the right thing. They may even formulate the thought in their head....but the minute they open their mouths??? They go on the attack. They really cannot help themselves. It's a disease.

So I very sweetly let the conversation die, hung up and went about my business.

After not hearing from me for two days, she will call and we'll progress as normal.

If I snapped out right about now, it would not be pretty. So I am willing to let that one go.

Other than that, gearing up for a normal week at work. Hopefully, something good will jump off so I can write about it.

How many of us have them?

Last night, I came home from work and found out that Mr. 1969 got laid off from his job. This is not what you need to hear when you have a mortgage, two children and various other bills. I knew that he was feeling depressed so I fed the kids and then left to go grocery shopping.

When I got in the car, I called a good friend of mine. The two of us met when I moved to Philadelphia. It turns out, God brings people together for a reason. We have kept each other going for the last 7 years. We are a refuge for each other and can call at the drop of a dime and have instant dialogue about anything.

I called her and we started talking. The discussion started about my hubby and then it touched on our lives as women, mothers, sisters and daughters. The expectations we set for ourselves, the failures of our fathers in our lives and what role that played in the choices we have made. We talked about losing ourselves to all of the roles we balance and fighting tooth and nail to hang on to a small piece of who we used to be before responsibility took over. How we get so caught up in doing for everyone else that sometimes we just want someone to ask how we are doing.

We talked about our careers and how we have to exist as Black women in the workplace. How hard we have to work to be professional, intelligent and non-threatening so we don't get labeled "the angry black woman".

We talked about feeling overwhelmed, tired, angry and scared. We talked about life and how we can improve ours, our families and teach our children to learn from our mistakes. We ended it by telling each other that we had the other person's back. We loved each other and we would help the other person get through the crisis no matter what.

It's not always easy to be a real friend to someone. A real friend listens first and asks questions afterwards. I feel so blessed. I hope you all have someone you can call when you need some clarity and refocusing. I know I do.

Flashback

"Do you remember
When we fell in love
We were young
And innocent then
Do you remember
How it all began
It just seemed like heaven
So why did it end?"

Remember the Time....M.Jackson


So at my reunion, was my high school boyfriend, the Quarterback. He was my first, um...well first. LOL

We dated for two years (when in reality I was secretly in love with a boy named Chris in my homeroom who would eventually become the man I loved and lost to an untimely death). We dated my senior year and the Freshman year of college before the distance and excitement of meeting new people got to us.

We had a great high school relationship. We were popular, the Quarterback and the Fly Girl (at least I THOUGHT I was fly....the old pictures tell another story).
We were a power couple among maybe, four other couples.

Well it was hilarious to see these same couples at the reunion. Of course, they played...the famous MJ song above and made all of the high school couples dance.
We are both happily married with two sons. How ironic.

So while we danced and had every body yelling stuff about us on the dance floor...we were laughing about all of the old days. You know, when you would cut class and sneak the boy into your house and then try and have him out before your mama came home? Oh hush....you know what I am talking about....ole fast azzes!

Then we talked about the prom and remembered that the last song they played was "Adore" and that was OUR song. You know....old stuff that you forget but remember somewhere in the back of your mind?

Well we all had fun hanging out and reminiscing. It was great.

Of course, there was the moment right when we were all leaving and saying our goodbyes when he leaned in close, told me I still looked terrific, maybe better and that "those shoes you are wearing have been wreaking havoc on my equilibrium all night".

1969 has still got it. LOL

Father Figure

"I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine...
I will be the one who loves you...til the end of time"

You may remember that I wrote a post about my Dad (August 15th in the archives)a while back. Well, I had that posted on my family blog and he read it. So when I came down, my last night in Trinidad we drove around and talked. He was touched by what I wrote and wanted to tell me his side of the story.

I didn't grow up with him, but I am working on cultivating the relationship for the present and future. I am angry, I am disappointed, and yet, I am hopeful. He is still my father and I so need one.

As long as we are both willing to forget past mistakes, we can move forward. He loves me. I love him. We can make it work.

It was good to talk to him and I have some closure. He also told me that he loved my mother very much. They grew apart due to distance and youth but when they were together, he was deeply in love. For some reason, that meant a lot to me.

I am the type of person that doesn't have very many people that truly know me. I am somewhat of an enigma. I hate to complain. I hate to need sympathy or help. I am working on opening up somewhat but I have a habit of keeping things inside and just working them out on my own. It's not always the best way to handle things but it's what I do.

I always felt like talking to my mom was burdening her with issues when she already had so much on her plate. I learned to just adjust and handle my own. It's part of what makes me such a capable superwoman but there are times when I stop moving, breathe and realize that things can fall apart faster than a Roots song.

It's hard for me to admit that I need someone. Especially someone that I felt abandoned me....but I do.

Parents are human. They make mistakes. Now that I am one, I understand this better.
However, having children of my own....I know I could never walk away from them. It's selfish and it hurts the children. I know because I am one of the victims.

It's so easy to run away from things that are scary and overwhelming. I want to run away from my life and live for myself every single day.....but I chose to have those kids and they need me. Deep down, I need them.

My father and I are going to work through this....we have to. We need each other.

What a week....

So yes, I am officially back from my trip to Trinidad. It was fantastic. I haven't had time to even unpack much less to download pictures so you will all have to wait for a minute. (Hush up and be patient)!

We got back last Thursday and I ended up back in NYC the same day. I tried my best to hook up with Miss Lee (sorry Mama!) but ended up running around for my mom, best friend, etc....due to my high school renuion.

Trinidad update is pending a long post because some major stuff happened that needs it's own post.

Instead, I will talk about my 20th High School Reunion.....

It was great to be at the old school. I must say, my classmates all looked fabulous and I stayed out until 5am. I haven't done that in a WHILE. LOL

We had our daytime, homecoming event at the school and that evening had a party at T.ribeca Cinema. The party was great and I think I looked a little fabulous...judge for yourselves?



Don't hate on the tan!!!!! I worked hard on that one in Tobago....LOL

After the party, at 4am, we ended up going out to eat. Can you tell we didn't want to go home? Here is a picture of the crew at about 5am.



I am so exhausted but will work on the Trini pictures tonight. Glad to be home....

Back on the Block

I am back from my two week vacation. Well tanned, well rested and rejuvenated. Unfortunately, I also have about 289 emails to address. I will post all of the details later when I clear out my inbox. Have a great day!

BYE BYTCHES! (In the spirit of Don.Imus)

Sam, the World's Ugliest Dog

Be back with lots of stories to tell and perhaps a few pictures. Have a great week....I know I will :)

Stepping onto the soapbox for a minute....

While most of the innanets are buzzing about a certain radio station DJ calling a certain female basketball team "Nappy Headed Hoes", I am going to instead challenge my brown people to do better.

It's so easy to demand that this tacky and crass individual be fired or reprimanded...but then we will go out and buy records, watch videos and speak to each other using the same words.

We have to stop with this..."we can call each other derogatory sh*t but you can't" mentality. What kind of crap is that? Rationalizing demoralizing behavior is TRIFLING people.

C'mon Brown People, we can do Better.

The Countdown Is On.....4 days from now.....

Perfect Tens

When I moved to Philly, I became close to three Sorors in my chapter. What we each had in common was that we were all number tens on our respective lines.

We saw each other at last year's Philly's Men Are Cookin event.

Just wanted to share the picture....I am the 2nd one from the right. So single guys, when I tell you to come down for Philly's Men....see what you are missing?

Lessons for Life

Three Months Ago.....

"Mommy...is it bad to tell a lie?"

"Yes it is. Mommy and Daddy will always love you no matter what you do son. Even if you did something bad, we still love you. If you lie to us, we will be very sad, disappointed and angry. If you tell the truth, we may be angry at what you did....but we won't be angry at you."

"What if I do something horrible?"

"We will still love you if you tell us the truth."

"Even if I go to jail?"

"Well, I know that MY son would never do anything bad and go to jail. But yes, even if you did.....you would still be my son and I would still love you. As long as when I asked you, you told me the truth."

"I love you Mom"

"I love you too baby."

Fast forward to yesterday.

I am upstairs and the boys are downstairs playing. I hear a loud noise and the baby starts crying. I come down the stairs and the baby is wailing and holding his hand over his eye. Taliban 1 is in the corner looking guilty. I pick up the baby, give him a hug and examine his eye. Definitely bruised.

Tali 1 comes over and stands in front of me. I can feel the anger rising up and he is about to get his behind whooped.

"What happened?"

"Mom, can I tell you something?"

"What?"

"I was holding the ball and I threw it and hit Tali 2 in the eye."

"Was it an accident or did you do it on purpose?"

"I did it on purpose."

"Look at your brother's eye. How do you think he feels?"

"Sad" **his voice starts breaking**

"If you were the little brother and all you wanted to do was play with your big brother....and then he threw a ball and hit you in the eye...would that make you feel good?"

"No" **starts crying**

"Go upstairs to your room and wait for me."

So I give T2 some hugs, put some ice on his eye and then get him settled. I take some deep breaths cause I have to give the beating....and I head upstairs.

"Mom, are you mad at me?"

"Yes"

"But Mom, you said if I tell the truth, you won't be mad at me."

SSSSScccccccrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeccccccchhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"That's right son. **deep breath** I am angry at the fact that you hit your brother for no reason. I am NOT angry at you. I love you."

He starts crying. Gives me a hug.

"Can I go downstairs and tell T2 that I am sorry?"

"Yes...and give him a hug."

"I'm sorry mommy. I was a bad big brother."

"I trust you to watch your brother. We are a family, we DO NOT hurt each other. We protect each other. Do you understand?"

"Yes mommy. Even though I am bad....do you still love me?"

"Yes. I still love you."

I come downstairs and they are both hugging and playing like nothing happened.

In my day, I would have gotten the back hand slap. Problem solved. Now I am punked.
Who's raising who around here?

Service with a smile....

When I was a Hotel Management trainee fresh out of college, I spent a year training in all of the different departments of the Hotel. Some may not know but a Hotel is like a small city. The Front of the House departments are the people actually seen by the guests. Front of the house includes, front desk, housekeeping, room service, banquets, sales, event management, bellstand, concierge, etc...Back of the house includes engineering, culinary, accounting, purchasing, shipping, etc...

Well, as a hotel trainee, I had to serve in most of these areas. Many hotels don't require this training but the Brand I started out with did. I am so glad I had the opportunity. One of the toughest jobs in a Hotel is housekeeping. Every morning, each housekeeper gets a list of rooms that they are responsible for cleaning before their shift ends. If guests check out late, a housekeeper usually has to wait to clean your room before they can leave for the day. If a convention is in house and everybody is asking for late check-outs, it forces housekeeping to be delayed thus causing the next group of folks arriving that night to be unable to check into their rooms.

For most major Hotel brands ( I can't vouch for those with red r.oofs), all rooms must pass inspection. The housekeepers appreciate when you put all of your dirty towels in one pile and don't leave them all over the room like a game of hide and go seek. They also prefer to come in and see trash in...you guessed it...the trash can.
Not scattered all over the room like you have no home training. Yes, I know....some of you feel like you paid for the room so it's okay to do whatever the hell you feel like. That's fine. Just know that most housekeepers are older women that migrate from other countries, speak little to no English and they bust their azzes everyday for minimum wage. Now pick your sh*t up! LOL

So during my tenure in Housekeeping, I learned a few sage things....

1) ALWAYS PUT GLOVES ON. I learned this by cleaning under a bed and pulling out a wet, used condom. It took everything I had not to throw up. The housekeepers got a kick out of my reaction and then told me stories of the various things they find in rooms. Everything from used hypodermic needles to sheets that would make the CSI Black Light proud.

2) PERVERTS LOVE ATTENTION. On a single day, at least two perverts would call up for some item....either towels, shampoo, a razor, etc...just to answer the door butt naked. I like to look at their packages intently, laugh and say very sweetly "Here are your towels Sir. SECURITY will be up if you have any additional needs."

3) PEOPLE LOVE TO ACCUSE HOUSEKEEPERS OF STEALING THINGS. Sometimes, they do...but so many housekeepers get wrongfully accused for you losing your stuff. Keep your belongings in something. Preferrably the safe.

4) DON'T DRINK NATHAN OUT OF HOTEL GLASSES OR COFFEE CUPS IN THE ROOMS UNLESS YOU WASH THEM. 9 times out of ten, if the cups weren't used...nobody is washing them or changing them. Don't say I didn't warn you.

and lastly....

5) GENTLEMEN TRAVELLING ON BUSINESS, LISTEN UP....the secret of businessmen everywhere. When you are checking out of your room and you can't bring the porn magazine home with you but you don't want to leave it in your room because your company paid for the room and it has your name on it.....leave it in the secret hiding place. Most businessmen leave the magazine either on top of the ice machine or the soda machine on the way out. We used to keep an amazing library of literature in the office. Everything from your standard tig ole bitty magazines to the more interesting ones featuring how to get up close and personal with your livestock.

Service with a smile.

The Hotel Diaries

For those that may not know....I work in the Hotel Business. So many people have asked me to post about what actually happens in a hotel. I am going to do a series of stories and give you a taste of Hotel life.

At the Hotel, we have what is known as an M.O.D. The M.O.D is the Manager On Duty. This person is the acting General Manager over the weekend when the GM is not in the hotel. You usually begin your shift from Friday and you leave on Sunday at 5pm. You check in and stay all weekend and are basically on call for any guest issues or complaints. Most of my stories began during an M.O.D shift.

One night on my shift, a guest called me on the phone. She asked for the "Hotel Manager" so I pick up and she starts talking:

"Is this the Hotel Manager?"
"Yes, Ma'aam. How can I be of assistance?"
"I have a delicate situation that I need help with."
"No problem, how can I help?"
"I left something in my room that I need retrieved and overnighted to me"
"No problem. When did you check out of the room?"
"I am at the airport. I left an hour ago."
"What room were you in?"
"I was in Room 1227. But this needs to be handled delicately."
"Sure thing Ma'am. What is the item?"
"The item is wrapped in a towel under the bed on the left hand side of the bed"
"Wrapped in a towel?"
"Yes. Can you please retrieve it and overnight it to this address?"

**writing address down**
"And what is the item Ma'am?"
"Uh....it's my vibrator."
"A Vibrator Ma'am?"
"Uh...Yes"
"Wrapped in a towel under the bed?"
"Yes, the left side."
"Okay Ma'am, we will take care of that."
"Thank you so much. Please have it overnighted and bill me for the charges."
"My pleasure."

So as I hang up the phone and call the Housekeeping Director and tell him to meet me on the 12th floor with some gloves. I am cracking up. What could be so good about this piece of machinery that you would risk embarrasment to call and have it OVERNIGHTED, no less.

After fighting for ten minutes with the Director of Housekeeping over who was gonna actually touch it (HE LOST)....we retrieved the item, placed it in a plastic baggie...towel and all....and overnighted it to the guest.

She ended up sending me $100 for my troubles. Sometimes, an orgasm is worth more than you might think.....

What does it take to be me?

I spent my weekend in a haze of responsibilities. You know how you have moments where you sit down and can't figure out how you got it all done? Yes. That was me.

Saturday I got up at 6am and went to the gym. Came home, made breakfast for the family (I made scrambled egg, turkey bacon and cheddar breakfast burritos-yum) and dressed the kids. I grabbed Taliban one and took him out with me to pick up all of his stuff for his Birthday Party on Saturday. On the way home, one of my girlfriend's called and had an emergency errand to run. I ended up picking up her son and bringing him back with me to our house. I dropped the boys off at my house with Mr. 1969 and went to the supermarket.

Mr. 1969 unknowingly invited a "few" of his frat brothers over to watch the NCAA games. I stopped to pick up stuff to cook. I came in the door and started making jerk chicken wings, potato salad, peas and rice and Ghiardelli chocolate brownies.

Mr. 1969 left to go get gas for the grill and beer.

I fed all THREE boys lunch. An hour later, my girlfriend showed up and picked up her son. I made my two take a nap before the guys came over.

Slowly the men started trickling in. One brought his THREE kids....ugh.

The "few" friends turned into 8 ques, three kids plus my two boys. So, I ran back to the store to pick up hot dogs for the kids and ice.

Needless to say....the house was full of people until 2am.

Sunday, I woke up and went to the gym...stopped at Starbucks and had some coffee and 30 minutes of peace. Came back home, dressed the Tali's for church. Left church and went to Sorority meeting. Came home at 5pm, got two loads of laundry done, ironed clothes for everyone for the week and started packing for Trinidad.

Finally, I mopped the kitchen floor, cleaned all of the bathrooms and spent an hour of quiet time talking to my husband.

I just want to give a shout out to the parents out there. You inspire me to wake up every morning and do it all over again. Happy Monday!