The advice fairy....

One of the joys of getting older is that you acquire the right to expound on several topics simply because you have "lived". With age comes wisdom. I find that people now come to me and expect enlightened answers on various topics. Here are the top three....


1. Children

Once you have a child and you live to see them through the first five years of their life without going to jail, folks tend to gravitate toward you and ask you questions.
The other day, I was out with both Tali's at the playground. This pregnant woman comes up to me and starts asking me where I send my kids to daycare because they are so "well-spoken and well-behaved". While I told her about their school (because I love their school), I didn't have the time to explain to her that it's not just the school.....my kids are well spoken and well behaved because they learned that in their house. I wanted to tell her that it takes work and that her road was just beginning. Your children are a reflection of you and their environment. It's that simple. When folks have bad azz kids and they don't know why....ahem....hold up a mirror. LOL

2. Marriage

I am always getting questions about "how do you make it work"....and "you guys seem so happy and you have such a beautiful family". Rule number one with marriage....couples always look happy when they are out but nobody knows what goes on in their home. Everyone has rough spots and trouble. Couples fight, they argue, they disagree. No one has a perfect marriage.

Stop looking at other people and figure out what is not working in YOUR house.
Every situation is unique. Don't compare your husband to my husband. Work on you and yours. AND STOP LETTING EVERYONE IN YOUR BUSINESS. Whew.

Nothing in life is easy. You walk the road and sometimes it's smooth, sometimes it's long, sometimes it's rocky and bumpy. You just work on moving forward and paving the road together. He has to want it as much as you do. Don't worry about the other cars on the road. Drive yours to the best of your ability.


3. Men

If a man wants to be with you, he will act like it.

That's really all you ladies need to know. Commit that to memory. If you are spending more time trying to figure him out than enjoying the relationship.....kick him to the curb.

Nuff said.

Blog jacked

I am totally stealing this from the genius that is Wise.

Today I present my favorite White women.

Number Five



Sophia. I love a smart talking, no shyt taking woman. Sophia is one sassy broad...what's not to love?

Number Four



Mrs. Butterworth. (She is white right?) I love her. No other syrup will do for my famous French Toast. She's rich, sweet and creamy (no Michelle Rodriguez) and I love her!

Number Three



You already know this is my girl. My icon. And she does it all while looking flawless and rocking the best costume with the high heeled boots and bracelets? C'mon.

Number Two



Posh. Mrs. Beckham is my girl. Say what you want, she brings the glamour. She is over the top but still laughs at herself. I love the whole look. And hey, she's married to one of my future baby daddies (Back up Roycee).

Number One

Now you know....when it comes to white people, we have stolen everything. We stole golf, stole the Preppy look (thanks Kanye and Pharelle), stole rock music...we are taking everything and making it our own. The last bastion of whiteness? Yes, B.arbie.
And slowly but surely....we are stealing that too. My favorite white woman has transformed herself into B.arbie...pink lipstick and all....no one does it better....




The Queen Bee...Lil Kim

carry on.....

The Legacy

My mom is coming up to visit this weekend and I can't wait to see her.

My mom and I have been through a lot together. We have our ups and downs. She veers towards being harsh and extremely matter of fact. She's not always good at handling her children's emotions or saying something with tact.

I am sensitive but hide it under a tough exterior. My mother wears her sensitivity on her sleeve. You make the wrong comment and she will get hurt. However, she will turn around and feel that she can say anything to me and I should suck it up. Oftentimes, I do. I just take things and out of respect for her, I don't retaliate.
I am not a lover of drama.

Over the years, I have learned to not let some of her mom-isms get to me. A lot of it is meant well, she just doesn't say it in the right way. I really do think that is an inherent Caribbean trait. We may want to say "Wow, you look great. Have you lost weight?" but instead it will come out "Yuh too skinny. No man is gonna want a skinny woman." You feel me?

So many times, I call my mom looking for support and I will end up having to call elsewhere or find it in myself. However, I love her to pieces. That is just her way.

She is also the woman that had two children when my father was gone and raised us both to be good people. We care about our family and each other. Last year when she was undergoing surgery, her two kids stayed at her side the entire time.

Her greatest gift was to always make us laugh at ourselves and not take anything too seriously. She is a natural born comedienne. She can cook her behind off and she is always a diva. One of the best dressed women I know, with a knack for always looking pulled together. She will give you the shirt off her back if you need it and she would sacrifice her last dollar for her children.

So maybe she tends to have a harsh tongue but she has a huge heart. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Spreading My Wings

official score: Donuts-zero 1969-one

Okay so I started out the day donut free. Yogurt and fruit. (BLAH) But I am going hardcore. Just thought I would share.

You ever feel like your life is mundane? Boring? Stuck in a rut? Sometimes, I wonder where all the excitement is. I mean, my life was never fireworks and festivals.....but sometimes I feel like I do the same things day in and day out.

For the most part, I love my life.....my quiet existence in my own little corner of the world. I am content, chilling in the house with my family.

But sometimes, I feel like there should be more. More what? I don't know....just more. I don't want too much excitement. Really, I am blessed. God could have chosen to place me in Rwanda where every single day trying to survive would have been excitement overload.

No I mean....something else. Something new. Something to shake up the routine.
Maybe a vacation? Maybe I need to take a class? Maybe I need to go back to school?

I am feeling the urge to spread my wings and do something. Challenge myself. Grow.
I hate being stuck in a rut.

Parting is such sweet sorrow....

So I have been reading the book S.uperfoods and trying to educate myself on eating a more balanced diet.

All of a sudden, I read this:

Remember that all donuts, to my knowledge, have the so-called trans fats, which is another way of saying partially hydrogenated oils. There is no safe amount of trans fats. Even small amounts have an adverse effect on our health. They are even worse than saturated fat, which also can have significant adverse effects on many body functions.

Alright people. That hit home for me cause you know I love a good donut. MMMMMmmmm donut. Yes, me and Homer Simpson. ALL donuts are bad. WOW. What about the mutli-grain donut at Starbucks? LOL

Okay, okay....if I can walk away from red meat and pork...I can leave the small donut behind right? **starts sweating** I mean, you heard the man....they're ALL BAD for me? They are defeating the running and eating healthier. What? My eye is twitching? Oh....I'll be okay.....it's just this small thing that happens when I think about giving up donuts forever.

**sigh**

Refocusing My Efforts

There is a lot going on at work right now. For my department, we are in the middle of our busiest time of year. All of this while I am still trying my best to learn this job. Coming from a Sales and Marketing background and stepping into the world of revenue is not easy.

I made this move to 1) Get the Title 2) Gain the Revenue Experience & Knowledge and 3) Learn an entirely new aspect of the Business. Was this the job for me? I can honestly say no. I am a people person. Sales is where I belong. However, I am doing my best to master all aspects of this job before I plan on jumping ship.

October will be a year in the position. I plan on doing two and then exploring my options. So far, I am learning but some of the projects make me feel like I am in way over my head.

Therefore, I plan on refocusing my efforts to tackle the tasks I have yet to master. I refuse to lose. As the only Black person in the Region with my job.....I have to carry that responsibility and make us all look good. I know the Haters want me to fail but....it ain't gonna happen.

I am on the job.....

Work smerk....

So I really need to finish a project but I don't FEEL like it. I worked like a slave yesterday. Oh snap, I am a slave...LOL. Seriously, I think I am done. Hell, it's Friday. Let the slacking commence.

Small confession....I did not do well as far as healthy eating at all this week. **sigh** I will kick it into high gear tomorrow though. Gym at 8am and I will work it all out of my system. Spinning class should do the trick. And it's an all seafood weekend at the 1969 house. Seafood, roasted veggies and lots of fruit. Gotta stay in the game and detox the cake and chips. Hush....I needed it!

Mr. 1969 will be out of town on Saturday so it will be me and the Taliban Maruaders.
I am probably going to take them out to the gym with me, then we will hit the Please Touch Museum and maybe go see Rat.atouille. My oldest wants to see Transformers but it looks too grown for him. Has anyone seen it? Too much for a five year old going on 40?

Lastly, when the Husband returns on Sunday....I am handing off his kids and I will be locked up somewhere in the house with my Ha.rry Potter book. Yes, yes, I read Ha.rry Potter. Retreat YE HATERS. The books are good....and I need to know what happens before everybody starts telling me who dies. If you are down with Hogwarts, holla at ya girl :)

If you are close to Philly.....Musiq Soulchild is giving a free concert tonight at Penn's Landing. Also popping off is the Que boatride tonight, departing from Penn's Landing on the Sp.irit of Philadelphia.

I will be home sipping a glass of Chardonnay, because mama is too old for all that hotmess. You youngsters get out there and enjoy yourselves.

I leave you with a Flashback Friday classic (this one's for you Fresh)...cause I got land in the sand of the West Indies......Damn I be paid......

I Got Work to Do

I had a stress free week, chilling in the office, no bosses, surfing the web....then SLAM (cue the Onyx music)......projects, deadlines and responsibility have swooped in like a hawk.

Stay strong, my people and have a great week.....

Meme Madness

I was tagged by Roycee AND Zed so here go the rules:

Rules:
1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.


1) A very close relative tried to molest me when I was 16. It didn't happen because I got away. They never tried anything ever again but I kept it a secret for years so my mom wouldn't be embarrased or feel guilty. I finally told her maybe two years ago and she was PISSED.

2) My greatest fear is either of my sons being molested. Probably because of what almost happened to me. I would kill someone, without hesitation. Seriously.

3) One of my very good friends (she was in my wedding) is no longer speaking to me. I don't know why. I don't care. She was high maintenance and I have no patience to call and find out. Hell, after ten years of friendship, you would think she would call and cuss me out or something right? Que sera sera.

4) My husband did nothing for my birthday. He sucks at holidays and birthdays. I sucked it up and acted like it didn't matter. It does matter and I am still pissed off.

5) Everytime I hear a Euro say "He/She speaks so well". I want to punch them dead in the face.

6) All of my underwear has to match. Even if I am wearing sweats and a t-shirt....my underwear is probably cute. I used to work in Bloomie's in lingerie in college....I developed a habit.....LOL.

7) I stole a lot of stuff out of the bookstore in College. I feel bad now but that's why one of my line names is Robin Hood. *sigh*

8) Men that don't watch or like sports just don't sit well with me. I will probably assume that you are suspect when you probably just don't like it. I am sooo judgemental.


No tags.....just posting :)

Reading is Fundamental

I have read two books in the last week. I love books. I love all genres, from biographies to fiction. I have a penchant for quality writing. I guess I am somewhat of a book snob.

I will not read anything by Z.ane or any of the other mainstream modern authors. I read Z.ane's first book and was not impressed with her writing or storytelling abilities. I felt like she was trying to force a wild sex scene into the story instead of letting the scene develop. If she wants to read a well done sex scene, she needs to pick up this book.

I love Walter Mosley for his brilliant character development. I love intense mysteries and used to stay up late reading James Patterson and Stephen King when I was younger. Stephen King's The Stand is a classic.

I love Alice Walker and Toni Morrison. I love Richard Wright. I love Zora Neale Hurston.

My favorite author is Gabriel Garcia Marquez. His writing is amazing. He weaves a story like no other. He can take a simple story about love and transform it into a mystical experience. Simply beautiful.

I read stories to my children every night and I hope to pass on the love of quiet time with a good book. What are you reading?

Monday's musings

The last three days have been crazy. Went to Brooklyn on Friday and spent the day with my best friend. We had dinner at a great restaurant. The sushi was amazing.

Played with my Goddaughter and my new nephew and chilled out and relaxed at my best friend's store. I left with a great book. The book had me bawling just like the Kite Runner. If you are looking for a good read, check it out.

Before leaving, I stopped off at my other friend's store and took a slice of her world famous red velvet cake with me for the trip back. Now you can see why I love going home.

I returned and attended the Que party at the African American Museum in Philadelphia with the hubby. The event was really nice and we had a great time. However, I was in recovery mode for the rest of the weekend after that. I am getting old I tell ya.

Yesterday, it was all about the boys. I know I say this constantly but they really are getting so big. I can't believe how fast they are growing up. The baby is a grown man pushing 30 and my oldest is about 35. I swear. I am starting to have these deep conversations with them and then I pause and realize that they are kids. LOL

Happy Monday.

Have a good weekend

I am heading home to Brooklyn for a few days.......have a great weekend and behave yourselves while I am gone!

We interrupt this Blog ................

Ladies and gentlemen....the time has come to address some of your fashion issues.

Men, what the heck are these?



1969 does NOT endorse Manpris. Pick one a) Shorts or b) Pants.

Ladies, this is not cute....



Now, we don't expect you to all have a six pack. Donuts are far too tempting and you know I can relate. However, we don't need to know all of your problem areas without even knowing your name. MUFFIN TOP is NOT a good look. EVER.

and this?



**sigh** Backfat should NOT be on display. There are so many better shirts to wear. Really. And you can still look good. This woman is not big at all, but she makes herself look bigger by accentuating her problem area.

Gentlemen...


It doesn't look good on Simon Cowell and it doesn't look good on YOU.....male highbeams are soooooo NOT sexy.

and last but not least.....




Is this STILL happening? Come on. Straighten up. We are all tired of it, and it AIN'T cute.

This has been another 1969 Public service announcement (c)

I Challenge....ME!

I would describe myself as laid back. After years of working in the Hospitality Industry, I don't get frazzled easily. However, underneath the calm exterior, I am my own worst critic. I am constantly challenging myself to accomplish certain tasks.
I am a control freak when it comes to my life.

This year alone, I challenged myself to give up eating red meat and pork. So far, I haven't touched the stuff. Despite all of the cookouts, I have managed to walk away from those hot dogs fresh off the grill and eat the seafood or chicken. So far, mission accomplished.

My next goal is to run a 5k before I turn 40. (I gave myself two years to get it together). LOL

I work out almost every day but running is NOT my thing. In fact, I hate it. However, the best results I have seen in trying to rid myself of the baby weight has been through running. I am vain, if nothing else. So therefore, I have incorporated running into my morning routine.

So half of the year is up and I am making progress. What is my next challenge? What personal goal can I set for myself? Have you made any goals that you are proud to say you have kept or am I the only one that beats myself up and makes constant challenges?

"The reason most people never reach their goals is that they don't define them, or ever seriously consider them as believable or achievable. Winners can tell you where they are going, what they plan to do along the way, and who will be sharing the adventure with them."

Denis Watley

There's Nowhere to Hide.........

This weekend I did something I haven't done in a long time. Absolutely nothing.
One of my best friends called and invited me to a pool party. Since the 1969 men had plans for the day....I was free to go all by myself.

I arrived at the pool party and promptly snatched up a lounger next to the pool. I proceeded to make myself a cocktail, whipped out my favorite book "One Hundred Years of Solitude" and chilled out. Four hours of nothing. Sun and water. For me, that is all it takes to leave me feeling rejuvenated.

So this week, I have a renenewed sense of spirit. As a mother, I now take the smallest things for granted. Had I taken my boys to a pool party, I would have spent the entire time on edge. Making sure they were safe, making sure they ate, watching them, playing with them, answering questions, bonding with the other parents.

It was really nice to lay in the sun and do nothing except get up to take a dip in the pool. Simple pleasures. Peace and quiet. Rest and relaxation.

I needed that.

Let the week begin.

On the Flip Side

Some Things I love.....

1) My Boys.

2) Flip Flops

3) Cropped leggings (Hush, I love them with babydoll dresses and heels)

4) Song number 8 on Maxwell's Embrya CD.....whew.....

5) Chocolate covered pretzels from the Reading Terminal Market General Store

6) Sunsets

7) Early in the morning quiet time.

8) Caramel Macchiatto's, extra hot, skim milk :)

9) Don't think bad about me.....MAKING THE BAND 4.....okay, there, I said it out loud.

10) The New York Mets and the New York Football Giants (I miss Tiki already)

11) Good conversation

12) When the soloist at church can really SANG....

13) Walking barefoot in the grass

14) The Beach

15) Jogging on the Boardwalk in Cape May, early before anyone gets up and then walking back with a cup of coffee in my hands

16) A good book. I need one.

17) Talented People

18) A Random, Unexpected Compliment

19) Doing something to help someone else

20) The Weekend. Enjoy yours.

Whatchu Know Bout Me?

Today, I offer, THINGS I HATE.


1) Rude children.

2) Parents that are dressed to the nines while their kids look a HOT MESS.

3) Bad Service

4) Micromanagement

5) Most Rap music after 1998

6) Liver

7) The Dallas Cowboys

8) Men in Cheap Shoes

9) People that smoke in their cars with kids in the backseat

10) When stuff that used to work on your hair or skin, all of a sudden starts to NOT work.

11) People that stand in my doorway and hover when I am clearly busy or on the phone.

12) Waiting

13) The words "Mommy, I'm finished!!!!!!!!!!!!"

14) Holidays that fall in the MIDDLE of the week...WHAT THA FUDGE?

I think, therefore I am

Tali 1 @ the Rodin Museum

I Think that I think too much. I feel too much. I care when I shouldn't. My compassionate nature is endearing to people. It's what they love about me. I always hear about how kind I am, how generous, how much I care about people's well-being over my own. My unsacrificing nature.

Inside, I feel like that caring nature is the bane of my existence. You know what happens to people that care? They get kicked in the gut constantly. I try not to become cynical. I try not to have unrealistic expectations for other people. I know that I can't control anyone's actions. But somehow, this small glimmer of hope that individuals will do the right thing and look at the situation in the same light always rears it's head and eventually.....gets stomped on. I get my feelings hurt.

Then what do I do? I stay calm and focused on the exterior. I move on with the task at hand and handle my business. But somewhere, down below, the gates of kindness have shut down. I forgive but I never forget. It's the nature of my beast.

I am my sign. I am Cancer, the Crab. When hurt I will retreat. Bury myself in the sand....in my day to day life. But, there always comes a time when the crab, lays in wait....and then.....when you least expect it.....It snaps.

I dread the day when it all rushes to the surface. Not for me.....but for those around me. Cause once it goes down, I will be powerless to stop it and when in battle....I take no prisoners.

And I know that my day is coming. The day when I jump out of the sand and cut folks to the quick.

Until then, I will take a deep breath and wait under the surface. I think the tide is shifting on this beach.

Happy Birthday To ME!

Well, it's finally here. My 38th Birthday. YAWN. LOL

Woke up, worked out, showered, dressed and left the house for work. The kids actually slept late on my special day so no Birthday hugs just yet....I am sure I will get some later.

Mr. 1969, hugged me and wished me a happy birthday. So all in all, a nice start to a good day.

The sun is shining and I am still here. Breathing and existing in my so called life.
That's really all I can ask for.

I'm blessed.